206: Dependents Day [ft. Laura Willcox]

The crew heads to the Sentient Resources planet to celebrate Dependents Day! Dar and Pleck bond. Nermut day drinks. Bargie busts a move.

Support for Mission to Zyxx comes from ZipRecruiter. 

This episode features the hit song This Dependents Day by 'stroid country legend Jordan B'Korkan. You can download the track and watch the lyrics video here. 

• Episode Transcript

  [main theme music begins]

  NARRATOR: It is a period of civil war. The rebellion against the sinister and corrupt Federated Alliance grows stronger, and the fate of the galaxy hangs in the balance. Now, Rebel Emissary Pleck Decksetter and his intrepid crew travel the farthest reaches of the galaxy to explore astounding new worlds, discover their heroic destinies, and meet weird bug creatures and stuff. This is Mission to Zyxx.

  [theme music ends]

  [Bargie’s alarms begin blaring while the crew sleep]

  BARGIE: Everybody wake up its Dependents Day.

  [Pleck and C-53 come from their rooms to the bridge]

  PLECK: Huh, what?

  C-53: Bargie it’s very early.

  [Pleck exhales]

  BARGIE: It’s Dependents Day, it's the best day of the year. Everybody wake up.

  PLECK: Uhhh, great yeah y’know- we didn't celebrate Dependents Day on my planet. What is- what is Dependent's Day?

  C-53: Emissary Decksetter, Dependents Day is when any- uh ship, that contains sentient beings, gets to declare their dependents which they can write off on their taxes.

  PLECK: Oh. Alright, well um.

  BARGIE: We get extra kroon that day, and also, they fill us up with sweet gas.

  C-53: That is also true.

  BARGIE: Sweetest gas you ever had.

  PLECK: Oh.

  BARGIE: It's like swimming in a bowl of cherry soup.

  PLECK: Cool, alright.

  [Dar emerges from their room]

  DAR: [slurring] Uhm, is anybody else really cold? Is anybody else's body temperature-

  PLECK: Oh.

  C-53: Oh.

  DAR: -around one hundred and forty degrees or something like that.

  PLECK: No...

  C-53: Dar, no.

  PLECK: S-somethings-

  C-53: You look a little pale.

  PLECK: Are you ok, Dar?

  DAR: [groans] I'm just hot- I’m don- …what?

  C-53: Oh...

  PLECK: Ohoh no.

  C-53: Oh, Dar...

  PLECK: Yeah, somethings wrong.

  C-53: Maybe you should go back to bed.

  DAR: [still slurring] Ahh, I’m fine.

  C-53: No... that's not true.

  [Dar’s scale falls to the floor]

  PLECK: Dar your- one of your scales just fell off.

  DAR: …I need to see somebody.

  PLECK: Oh boy.

  C-53: Yeah, uhm, Dar do you have a primary care physician?

  DAR: What?

  PLECK: I think that’s probably no. Dar I don’t wanna be indelicate but- is it because you jucked that corpse?

  DAR: I don't know.

  C-53: Wow- that’s actually a pretty strong probability, that she picked something up yeah.

  DAR: [slurring worse] Pleck I want you to look me in the one open eye that I have right now-

  PLECK: Okay...

  DAR: -and you have to promise me something.

  PLECK: Yeah, anything.

  DAR: You have to kill me.

  PLECK: N- what?

  DAR: This is-

  PLECK: Right now?

  DAR: Yes.

  PLECK: No! No Dar I can’t- I can't promise that.

  DAR: Look me in the one-

  [Dar begins strangling Pleck]

  DAR: -half open eye that I have-

  C-53: Just recording this so we can have this on record.

  DAR: -and, and prom- prom- promise me.

  [Dar drops Pleck and he begins panting]

  DAR: If I’m not-

  PLECK: [raspy] Ok, ok can I get like, a time limit or something?

  DAR: You have twelve hours.

  PLECK: Okay. Tw- oh my Rodd, Dar I- I’m gonna fix this okay I’m gonna figure out a way to fix this for you. Everything’s gonna- I’m not gonna kill you, but if it comes to that I will, because I promised because I’m your friend.

  DAR: Okay thank you.

  PLECK: Okay...

  DAR: Would you just... Rub my head a little bit.

  PLECK: Yeah! That's the thing I can definitely do.

  C-53: Dar are you drinking enough water?

  DAR: My species doesn't drink water.

  C-53: Oh- of course I’m so sorry, are you drinking enough sand?

  DAR: [groans] I have a glass of sand by the bedside table.

  C-53: Alright, I'm gonna go get that glass of sand.

  PLECK: Huh.

  [Dar groans]

  C-53: Dar’s species needs silicates to keep their life cycle going.

  PLECK: Sure, interesting.

  [C-53 walks away]

  DAR: You can pet my head a little harder.

  PLECK: Ok, just going- really going at it. I feel like I assumed you had a skull but, I’m not- I’m not-

  DAR: I don't.

  PLECK: Should I, how hard should I push?

  DAR: As hard as you can.

  PLECK: Okay. Am I gonna hit brain? Or something?

  DAR: No.

  [C-53 returns]

  PLECK: Oh.

  DAR: My brain is not up in- in that- part of my body.

  PLECK: Ok, alright.

  C-53: Yeah you don't have to worry, you're fine.

  DAR: My brain is here.

  [Dar pats their torso]

  PLECK: Oh. Hm. yeah.

  DAR: So you should know that when you kill me.

  PLECK: [quietly] Okay.

  BARGIE: It seems to me- wh- no one else is excited about Dependents Day, so.

  PLECK: I guess I just don't really understand what- it is. Like-

  C-53: It's kind of just a big party.

  PLECK: A tax party?

  C-53: Well, all the ships get to write off their dependents so they get money and they also get a free tank of gas, it's just part of the Dependents Day.

  PLECK: Yeah, I mean, I guess that's cool but- what does it mean for the- y’know for the- every Tellurian.

  C-53: You get to be written off.

  PLECK: [frowning] I feel like that happens to me almost every day.

  BARGIE: And they give you a hamburger, if that makes your bubble burst or-

  PLECK: Oh.

  C-53: Yeah when they fill out the forms usually there is a big cookout, so that's fun.

  PLECK: Okay! Great.

  BARGIE: And then we explode people who aren't dependent into the sky.

  [a pause]

  DAR/PLECK: What?

  [incoming transmission beeps]

  C-53: Emissary Decksetter, I have an incoming transmission from Missions Operations Manager Nermut Bundaloy.

  PLECK: Oh, ok. Hey Nermut.

  [cheering and Jordan B’Korkans ‘This Dependents Day’ can be heard from Nermut’s end of the call]

  NERMUT: Hey guys! I’m sorry if you can’t hear me, ah it’s- it’s really really loud here.

  PLECK: What is going on Nermut?

  NERMUT: They’re it's- well first of all happy Dependents Day.

  C-53: Yeah, happy Dependents Day.

  PLECK: Yeah sure, yeah happy Dependents Day, I guess.

  BARGIE: Happy Dependents Day!

  C-53: Oh, is that the Dependents Day light show that's happening?

  NERMUT: Well it's not just a light show, they're- they're shooting people who are not dependents up into the sky and they're just exploding them and it’s-

  PLECK: People who are independent people?

  DAR: Independents?

  C-53: Yeah, this-

  BARGIE: It's really a lot of fun.

  PLECK: Oh, well, feels like uh, vindictive a little bit.

  C-53: Emissary Decksetter, consider that a person who can claim no friend among any ship, is that really the sort of person you want hanging around?

  PLECK: Yeah I guess, I don't know if I’d shoot him into space though.

  DAR: Hmmm.

  NERMUT: But anyway, so Barg- Barg-

  PLECK: Listen Nermut, I hate to interrupt-

  NERMUT: Yeah.

  PLECK: Something’s wrong with Dar, I feel like we need-

  NERMUT: What.

  PLECK: -to find like a-

  NERMUT: Dar?

  PLECK: -like a weird alien doctor.

  [Dar groans]

  NERMUT: Oh.

  C-53: Or, preferably just a good doctor.

  NERMUT: Guys this is-

  PLECK: Yeah, they don't need to be weird.

  NERMUT: This is fortuitous because Bargie uh, I've sent a lot of print outs to you- do you- do you see...

  BARGIE: Yeah they're printing out right now, hold on.

  NERMUT: Okay. So.

  C-53: It’s taking a while.

  NERMUT: So another part of Dependents Day is obviously this is when there's open enrolment for The Rebellion’s healthcare plan, which should i- Dar we need to get you on it immediately.

  PLECK: We can probably just get- send her to a doctor first and then-

  NERMUT: Well no but there's, you should be-

  C-53: Well sure, but then we’re paying that off for the rest of our lives.

  DAR: But the cost will be so, astronomical.

  NERMUT: Yeah, you should try to be in network if you can, with The Rebellion, they have preferred providers. If you guys can just gather up the print outs.

  C-53: Nermut these... are a lot of forms.

  NERMUT: Grab the uhm-

  PLECK: Is there a digital copy of these Nermut?

  [printer beeps]

  BARGIE: I ran out of paper.

  NERMUT: Ahhhmm, okay.

  C-53: With two thirds done.

  NERMUT: Okay well, they, they have a printer on SR Headquarters. So what you’re gonna do is you’re gonna fly to SR-

  PLECK: SR?

  C-53: Sentient Resources.

  NERMUT: Yeah, Sentient Resources, and also Pleck I think you- you had tight eye, right?

  PLECK: Oh! Yeah yeah, the egg uhh. It’s gotten bigger? But also my vision has gotten a lot better so I-

  C-53: Your eye is about three times the size it used to be.

  NERMUT: So everyone, uhm get to SR because Pleck needs an ophthalmologist, Dar needs, probably uh a-

  DAR: [pouty] Pleck?

  PLECK: Uh- yes?

  DAR: I need Pleck.

  PLECK: W- yeah what- what can I do for you?

  C-53: Yeah, yeah, she's very ill if that’s what she’s asking for.

  PLECK: Yeah you're del- maybe delusional. Something’s wrong.

  C-53: Hmm.

  DAR: Where'd you go?

  PLECK: I'm right here.

  DAR: Don't go f-far away.

  [Dar grabs Pleck]

  PLECK: O-oh okay. This is... very strange. Alright Bargie, can you take us to SR?

  BARGIE: Already going I'm so excited!

  DAR: Plecky, can I have a blankie please?

  PLECK: [taken aback] Plecky?

  [ad break begins]

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  [ad break ends]

  [transition music]

  [Jordan B’Korkans ‘This Dependents Day’ and general office noise can be heard]

  PLECK: I just can't believe The Rebellion has such a deep bureaucratic system in place.

  C-53: Well healthcare is a famous weavers’ nest of just- red tape.

  PLECK: I mean yeah but, The Rebellion, I always sort of thought was like this bunch of uh, rag tag freedom fighters you know?

  [speakers announce: now seeing ship four hundred forty-eight]

  TAKK’SYS: Hi y’all, I think you're coming over here, window B?

  PLECK: Oh, yes.

  TAKK’SYS: Hi!

  PLECK/C-53: Hello!

  TAKK’SYS: C'mon take a seat, happy Dependents Day!

  PLECK: Thank you very much.

  C-53: Happy Dependents Day, yes.

  TAKK’SYS: Welcome to SR, did y’all-

  DAR: Can I have a lollipop?

  PLECK: Uhh.

  TAKK’SYS: Sure, you can get a lollipop. Did y'all have a- a hamburger?

  PLECK: Ah- yea- I'm not super hungry I'll probably get one later.

  TAKK’SYS: Oh! Aha, okay!

  PLECK: Do I need- should I, I mean I can?

  TAKK’SYS: I mean that is custom here on SR.

  PLECK: Alright, yeah I mean you know sure.

  DAR: Mhm.

  TAKK’SYS: Just be careful though because the guy who makes them, uhm, Flaxoid, I heard he doesn't really wash his hands after he goes-

  PLECK: [laughing] What?

  TAKK’SYS: -to the bathroom.

  PLECK: Oh you know what, never- nevermind.

  C-53: Oh.

  PLECK: I think I'll probably- nah, I'll probably just-

  TAKK'SYS: It's just what I heard. Please don’t tell him I said that.

  PLECK: -I won't yeah, no I won't.

  C-53: I won't.

  DAR: What is your name again?

  TAKK'SYS: Ah, my name is Takk’sys.

  PLECK: Takk’sys, great to meet you.

  TAKK’SYS: So, y'all ready to declare your dependence?

  PLECK: Yeah! Yeah, yeah.

  C-53: Yeah, yeah.

  PLECK: Emissary Pleck Decksetter-

  DAR: [slurring] I’m Pleck’s dependent.

  PLECK: Uhhh.

  C-53: Uh, no, that’s- that’s not right.

  PLECK: Yeah, that's actually not- yeah.

  C-53: We are all, which is to say Emissary Decksetter, myself C-53 and security officer Dar, declaring as dependents for the Bargarean Jade

  TAKK’SYS: Okay! And I assume that you have the appropriate forms? Of course you’ll have known that we have upgraded our system to paper, and uhm, I assume you filled those out.

  PLECK: When you say ‘upgraded to paper’ wha-what was it originally?

  TAKKSYS: It was digital of course, but we found that to be full of flaws so we've upgraded to paper actually, it’s very hard against uh like cyber terrorism uh-

  PLECK: Ah.

  C-53: Yeah that's true, hard to hack, paper.

  TAKK’SYS: Yeah.

  PLECK: Yeah, well you could steal it though.

  DAR: What if somebody loses the binder?

  TAKK’SYS: Well, don't tell anyone I told you this, but-

  C-53: Okay.

  TAKK’SYS: Saraxon, in window A-

  C-53: Sure.

  TAKK’SYS: -has lost the binder.

  PLECK: Really?

  TAKK’SYS: He's lost most of his stuff, yeah.

  PLECK: You know Takk’sys, it probably helps for you to like work at a desk job, because you've got all those, sort of arms that can be filing multiple forms at once.

  TAKK’SYS: Yeah, everyone on my planet were really good multitaskers.

  PLECK: Sure.

  TAKK’SYS: It's just sort of what we do.

  PLECK: Yeah, and your eyes can point different directions too, so you can keep an eye out for your fellow office mates.

  TAKK’SYS: Yeah, I like to kind of uh know what's going on at all times. Like down the hallway, way behind me and to the left, someone’s getting fired.

  PLECK: Right now?

  TAKK’SYS: You didn't hear from me though.

  VOICE 1: Get out of here! you get out of here right now!

  VOICE 2: Whut? I worked here till just now.

  TAKK’SYS: Oh gosh, Rodd help us all.

  PLECK: Well I guess uh.

  C-53: Well we have, I think most of the forms, but uh we ran out of paper, trying to print them all out so I think we're missing our twelve twenty-two, and the forty-one seventy-one.

  TAKK’SYS: Oh, mhm. Okay. Great, I got these right here.

  C-53: Okay.

  TAKK’SYS: You guys can fill them out right here.

  C-53: Great, well, that we can do.

  DAR: Takk’sys? If I don't know what my pre-existing condition is, what should I write down?

  TAKK’SYS: Uhm, I would just write down, that you seem- a little misshapen.

  PLECK: That's sort of always-

  DAR: This is actually my… c-constant shape.

  PLECK: Yeah, that’s.

  TAKK’SYS: Okay! Yeah, I would just list your species as a pre-existing condition.

  C-53: Oh, does that mean we won't be able to get healthcare for Dar?

  TAKK’SYS: Ah, that's really not for me to say but yeah probably, I did hear that some people are getting turned away just based on the mood of the person reviewing their forms.

  PLECK: Woah.

  C-53: So like, your mood?

  TAKK’SYS: Aha! I guess you could say, yeah! My mood!

  C-53: Okay.

  TAKK’SYS: Yeah!

  PLECK: Oh, okay yeah-

  C-53: Alright.

  PLECK: Is that a roundabout way of saying that like, we wanna stay on your good side or you're not gonna- you know approve our forms?

  TAKK’SYS: I really have disclosed too much at this time, but yeah pretty much.

  PLECK: Okay, wow.

  C-53: Hm.

  PLECK: That’s uh- sure.

  [other window worker knocks on Takk’sys’ window]

  SR COWORKER 1: Takksy, Takksy, did you hear something? It might make you real angry...

  TAKK’SYS: [concerned] What?

  SR COWORKER 1: Do you know Charlene down in eighteen eighteen five?

  TAKK’SYS: [through gritted teeth] Yes, I know Charlene down eighteen eighteen five.

  SR COWORKER: Apparently she got together with Florgorg.

  TAKK’SYS: Get the juck out of here.

  SR COWORKER 1: I’m jus- I’m just spreadin’ the news!

  TAKK'SYS: Florgorg?

  SR COWORKER 1: Your ex Florgorg, I’m just saying! What do I know? Bye!

  [Takk’sys’ coworker leaves]

  PLECK: Who was that?

  TAKK'SYS: Well that really does rankle my tankle- and my tankle does not get rankled very easily.

  C-53: Hm.

  PLECK: No, I was gonna say, it's very straight.

  TAKK'SYS: Thank you, I had a little work done on it- but.

  PLECK: Oh yeah.

  C-53: Oh you'd never know.

  PLECK: No, you'd nev- I would've never have known.

  C-53: It’s extremely natural.

  TAKK'SYS: Thank you, yeah.

  C-53: Takk’sys I guess, I just want to make sure that we’re not wasting our time here- we really need to get healthcare for our security officer.

  TAKK’SYS: Yeah, you’re not wasting your time, okay?

  C-53: Just- okay. Great.

  TAKK'SYS: You're not wasting your time, unlike that beoch with Florgorg.

  [another coworker comes over]

  SR COWORKER 2: Takk’sys?

  TAKK'SYS: Yeah?

  SR COWORKER 2: Uhm, here's the-

  TAKK'SYS: Mhm.

  SR COWORKER 2: -summary of the meeting here, we talked about the new phone system.

  TAKK'SYS: M’kay thank you so much, hey, real quick?

  SR COWORKER 2: Yeah?

  TAKK'SYS: Did you hear a little rumor about Florgorg?

  SR COWORKER 2: Well, I'm not one to like- repeat gossip...

  TAKK'SYS: No, no me neither I would never.

  SR COWORKER 2: No that's why I like you-

  TAKK'SYS: But can you just tell me everything you know?

  SR COWORKER 2: Sure. So I heard that Florgorg was doing some decently deep hanky-panky in the supply closet with both Echelon, Binkle and Delamp.

  TAKK’SYS: [surprised] Delamp?

  DAR: Wait I’m sorry-

  PLECK: Wait- I’m sorry did you say a lamp?

  SR COWORKER 2: No, no no.

  TAKK'SYS: [emphasizing] No, not a lamp, Delamp!

  C-53: [emphasizing] …Delamp?

  TAKK'SYS: Yeah. Uhm, a-are y’all- are y’all almost done with your paperwork right now?

  C-53: Uh I guess we’re still-

  TAKK'SYS: I'm sorry I'm just getting, I need to- I need my break, I need my break. I need to take a break.

  C-53: Uh we’re trying here, but there’s just- these forms are quite long.

  PLECK: Yeah, there's a lot.

  TAKK'SYS: Okay.

  C-53: Uhh.

  PLECK: Now, the Bargarean Jade has to fill out some forms too, right?

  TAKK'SYS: Yeah, I mean absolutely, but they kind of have their own bureaucracy that's sort of separate from ours.

  C-53: Oh, so she's in a different SR, that's just for ships.

  PLECK: Oh, Ship Resources.

  [transition sound]

  BARGIE: Okay, the number of people inside of me urghh, you know it could be three or four? It's been five at some point.

  SR REP: You really should know this.

  BARGIE: Ah, yeah I just- just think It’s two? I'm gonna say two.

  SR REP: Two?

  BARGIE: Yeah.

  SR REP: Okay, if you get this wrong the consequences are dire but I trust that you're right.

  BARGIE: You know, let's put the infinity sign.

  SR REP: Oh. That's a good catch all.

  BARGIE: Yeah, okay.

  SR REP: Okay, uhm. Next question, uh is morale generally high or low?

  BARGIE: Oh very low.

  SR REP: Low?

  BARGIE: I mean you're a ship, you understand.

  SR REP: I get it.

  BARGIE: I mean you're not doing what you want to be doing, w-what's your dream?

  SR REP: [sighs] I wanted to be a singer.

  BARGIE: Yeah. I was a movie- you know who I am, I mean we all know who I am.

  SR REP: Yeah, I know who you are.

  BARGIE: And look what I'm doing, sitting across from you today.

  SR REP: Yeah, no, neither of us wants to be here.

  BARGIE: No, so my morale is- could it be better? Yes.

  SR REP: Mhm.

  BARGIE: Yes, we all know that, you know that.

  SR REP: So we’ll say mid to low?

  BARGIE: Mid to low.

  SR REP: Mid to low.

  BARGIE: Sometimes, very low.

  SR REP: Okay so let's say-

  BARGIE: Infinity sign.

  SR REP: Infinity sign. That's a good catch all.

  [transition sound]

  TAKK'SYS: I just don't understand how Florgorg could do that to me, I mean we broke up because I was overly satisfying him but- I- it’s fine.

  C-53: He broke up with you-

  PLECK: W-wait you were overly satisfying him?

  C-53: He was... too happy?

  PLECK: I don't have a whole lot of relationship experience but if I-

  TAKK'SYS: Really?

  DAR: He doesn't but he should, because he's such a good boy.

  TAKK'SYS: I would think people would love that big beautiful eye of yours.

  C-53: Yeah that's sort of also-

  PLECK: Thank you.

  C-53: -something we need to get addressed-

  TAKK'SYS: It’s so swollen and glistening.

  C-53: Yeah.

  DAR: It's not even his best feature.

  PLECK: It sees real well.

  C-53: Yeah..

  PLECK: I sort of feel like it sees so well it's not even me seeing it.

  DAR: It belongs to our friend...the K’hekk is watching! Hello!

  PLECK: Yeah, that's true.

  TAKK'SYS: So you have a giant eye that’s not your own eye, that is gonna count as a double pre-existing condition.

  C-53: Ah, geez.

  TAKK'SYS: It might disqualify you and any of your progeny, you're gonna check that box on the form.

  PLECK: Wh- a- wait I have to check a box that says my kids don’t get healthcare?

  TAKK'SYS: [apologetic] Yes I'm afraid so.

  PLECK: Oh boy.

  C-53: That seems unfair...

  TAKK'SYS: States that pretty clearly...

  SR COWORKER 2: Takk’sys?

  TAKK'SYS: Yup?

  SR COWORKER 1: Takk’sys? We both wanted to give you the news...

  SR COWORKER 2: We uhh... we printed out an email from Florgorg, it was in Florgorg’s drafts folder.

  TAKK’SYS: What's it say?

  SR COWORKER 1: It's a picture... actually.

  SR COWORKER 2: Mhm.

  TAKK'SYS: Oh...

  PLECK: Probably could have just sent that email.

  TAKK'SYS: Oh!

  PLECK: Or just forwarded it.

  TAKK'SYS: That could have been hacked.

  SR COWORKER 1: Paper’s the future.

  PLECK: Yeah... I guess so.

  TAKK’SYS: Well, what is it? Just show me, what is it?

  SR COWORKER 1: It’s... Delamp without de lamp on it...so.

  TAKK'SYS: [gasps] Oh… my-

  PLECK: So Delamp is a lamp?

  SR COWORKER 2: Delamp is a person-

  SR COWORKER 1: No! Delamp isn't a lamp

  TAKK'SYS: No, Delamp is a Delamp. He's just got sort of a conical head, and a very long skinny body-

  C-53: Okay.

  TAKK'SYS: -and then like a round flat circle at the bottom.

  SR COWORKER 1: And he emits light.

  SR COWORKER 2: But he's not a lamp.

  TAKK'SYS: And he's also an asshole!

  SR COWORKER 2: ..Yeah.

  TAKK'SYS: I'm so sorry, I’m sorry no, this is not in the spirit of Dependents Day.

  SR COWORKER 2: Wow these- these characters aren’t even half way through their forms.

  PLECK: Listen, Takk’sys, if you could do anything at all to help- we just really need to get to a doctor.

  TAKK'SYS: Oh sure, yeah.

  DAR: [slurring] These are all my forms- take these Takk’sys.

  TAKK'SYS: Oh!

  DAR: [slurring] Pleck is my daddy.

  C-53: Oh no.. these errors-

  PELCK: Oh no.

  DAR: Here you go take it, take it, take it, take it.

  C-53: No, Dar these are all-

  PLECK: Don't file those-

  TAKK'SYS: So- she finished.

  PLECK: Please don't file those-

  TAKK'SYS: What? I’m sorry they've already been filed.

  C-53: Oh geez.

  PLECK: Oh boy..

  C-53: Dar you listed your race as Tellurian.

  DAR: [slurring] Mmm ah he's Tellurian!

  C-53: No, but you're not Tellurian.

  [a scale falls off Dar]

  PLECK: Listen Takk’sys-

  DAR: My body doesn't even want these scales anymore.

  [another scale falls]

  C-53: Oh wow, they’re really-

  PLECK: They are REALLY just falling out now.

  C-53: Just coming right off.

  PLECK: Coming right out.

  TAKK'SYS: You are shedding all over the place.

  C-53: Takk’sys, I- I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but if there's any way you could just- expedite this process so that we might see a doctor immediately.

  DAR: Takk’sys tell us the truth, what's the bribing situation like here? On SR?

  PLECK: Oh that's a good- a good point.

  TAKK'SYS: …Are y’all willing to kill?

  PLECK: [shocked] What?

  C-53: Wow. Uhm.

  PLECK: W-who do you want-

  DAR: Takk’sys-

  PLECK: Are you talking about us killing your ex-boyfriend?

  DAR: Pleck is ready to kill- he looked me in… the eye today and he told me he would kill me within twelve hours.

  PLECK: [sighs]

  C-53: That's true, you said you would kill her.

  DAR: Where do we find… this person?

  TAKK’SYS: Well I heard this, and don’t repeat this, you didn’t hear it from me but I heard that Florgorg’s going to be in the alley way, right, you see this dark long alley way that leads to the cubicle I'm sitting in?

  C-53: Mhm. Yeah, sure.

  TAKK'SYS: It's a long complex maze, it connects the whole bureaucracy of SR.

  PLECK: Huh.. you want us to head into the maze, find Florgorg uh- and take him out?

  TAKK'SYS: I would never say something like that but if that were to happen that would make this process much faster.

  PLECK: Hm.

  TAKK'SYS: Also you need to let me know what sweet gas you guys want for your uhm, ship.

  DAR: I think she said cherry.

  C-53: Yeah, have you got cherry?

  PLECK: Yeah I think, cherry-

  TAKK'SYS: Yeah, we got cherry. Like a sweet cherry soup?

  C-53: That's the exact one I think-

  PLECK: Yeah.

  C-53: -that we’re looking for.

  TAKK’SYS: That's my favorite too!

  DAR: You drink… Gasoline?

  PLECK: Wait do you- yeah how do you know?

  TAKK'SYS: Of course I drink gasoline, look at me.

  PLECK: I mean.. I- I guess.

  C-53: Yeah okay. Alright.

  TAKK'SYS: Yeah.

  [transition sound]

  SR REP: Alright, next question.. do you have any dependents that do not reside inside of you at this current time?

  BARGIE: I have a son.

  SR REP: Okay.

  BARGIE: Named Blimpie, he's an amusement park.

  SR REP: Mhm.

  BARGIE: I have a manager I don't speak to anymore.

  SR REP: Mhm.

  BARGIE: There's been a lot of people, you know what I mean.

  SR REP: Yeah, boy do I know.

  BARGIE: There's a lot of people.

  SR REP: Lot of people coming in and out from inside of you.

  BARGIE: Yeah, coming in and out, and they wear shoes.

  SR REP: What's that about?

  BARGIE: What's that about!

  SR REP: I would never.

  BARGIE: I don’t want your disgusting foot-

  SR REP: If I had feet I would never.

  BARGIE: Well first of all I’d have long legs, and I would chop my feet off.

  SR REP: Yeah, yeah. Absolutely, so I'm just going to put an infinity sign.

  BARGIE: Infinity sign.

  SR REP: Yeah.

  [transition sound]

  DAR: [quietly] Okay.. quiet..

  PLECK: Man.. this-

  DAR: Quiet..

  PLECK: -is a long hallway.

  C-53: I mean, this is like a tunnel.

  PLECK: Yeah, also-

  DAR: Sssneaky.

  PLECK: -we didn't really get any description of Florgorg, I feel like we didn't get enough information-

  C-53: I mean all we know is his name is Florgorg.

  PLECK: Yeah, yeah.

  DAR: Do we think this- is Florgorg in here?

  PLECK: Ahh.

  [Dar opens a random door]

  [incoherent alien babbling]

  C-53: Nope, no, nah, sorry.

  [door closes]

  PLECK: I don't think so, I don't think so.

  DAR: Sorry.

  C-53: I'm not sure.

  DAR: I'm so sorry, she was so loud- did it hurt anybody else’s little baby ears?

  C-53: Dar, maybe, maybe just don't open.. random doors. Maybe head back to Bargie and take it easy until we sort this out.

  PLECK: Yeah..

  DAR: [slurring] No I'm dependent on Pleck I can't go anywhere.

  PLECK: Okay, you can just follow me.

  FLORGORG: Sorry exc- are you guys lost? Or anything? You guys okay?

  PLECK: Uh.

  C-53: Uh yeah, oh yeah.

  FLORGORG: I just noticed you guys look sort of lost.

  C-53: No, no.

  DAR: Can you help us please?

  FLORGORG: Of course I can help, give me one sec I'm just wrapping up a phone call. Uh, hospital of uhm- childhood cancers? I just want to make a donation, uhm, yeah happy Dependents Day to you too, okay love you, bye bye. Sorry about that guys, I was so rude!

  DAR: You didn't even say what your name was to them, is it an anonymous donation?

  FLORGORG: No they know me, I do this a lot.

  PLECK: Oh uh thats-

  FLORGORG: But my name is Florgorg, w-what's your- what’s your name?

  C-53: [quietly] Ohhh boy.

  PLECK: Oh, uhh.

  C-53: C-53, I'm a protocol and diplomatic relations droid.

  PLECK: Emissary Pleck Decksetter, and this is our security officer Dar.

  FLORGORG: It's wonderful to meet you all, have you just gotten a little lost? I know these mazes can be so confusing

  PLECK: Yeah, no we just came back here- were actually looking for Delamp?

  FLORGORG: Oh! I can show you to his cubicle if you want?

  PLECK: Uhh..

  C-53: That's- you could just tell us where it is.

  PLECK: You could just tell us.

  C-53: We can probably figure it out.

  PLECK: Just point us the way.

  FLORGORG: No! I’ll walk you over, any excuse to see my friend Delamp.

  PLECK: Okay.. uh, you and Delamp real close?

  FLORGORG: Ah, we’re lovers in fact.

  PLECK: Oh really!

  C-53: Oh.

  PLECK: You and Delamp?

  FLORGORG: Yeah, yeah I found a deep kind of love with Delamp that I've never known, it’s like my life has finally begun.

  PLECK: Ah.

  FLORGORG: Do you know that feeling?

  C-53: Wow.

  DAR: I do.

  C-53: No that’s-

  DAR: I do know that feeling, that’s so beautiful.

  DELAMP: Florgorg!

  FLORGORG: Oh my gosh, Delamp!

  DELAMP: Heyyy.

  FLORGORG: How are you sweetheart?

  DELAMP: Ugh, I was just talking with some strangers and they asked me about you and I was explaining how we’re lovers .

  FLORGORG: Oh my gosh, that's so funny because that is actually exactly what I'm doing.

  DELAMP: No way!

  FLORGORG: What are the ch- we are so psychically linked.

  DELAMP: Crazy.

  FLORGORG: Love you.

  DELAMP: Love you, Florgorg.

  FLORGORG: Anyway, here's Delamp and here I am, what can we do you for?

  PLECK: Oh, uh.

  C-53: Oh, uhmm.

  PLECK: Just uhm-

  DAR: Pleck..

  PLECK: Huh, yeah?

  DAR: Can I talk to you and C for a second?

  PLECK: Yeah, yeah, yeah, just one-

  C-53: Yeah we’ll just be right back.

  PLECK: One second, Florgorg.

  DELAMP: Sure!

  FLORGORG: Absolutely.

  DELAMP: We’ll just be in love.

  [the crew takes a few steps aside]

  DAR: You can't kill him.

  PLECK: I know, he seems like a really good-

  C-53: Oh yeah, no I think we-

  PLECK: I kind of thought he was the villain in this situation-

  C-53: But maybe Takk’sys-

  PLECK: I think Takk’sys-

  C-53: Not to paint everyone on a binary spectrum-

  PLECK: Sure, sure.

  C-53: -of being good or evil but-

  PLECK: Seems-

  C-53: Takk’sys seems like maybe not a good person.

  PLECK: Yeah. Yeah.

  DAR: Bad person.

  PLECK: Yeah I think we may have gotten this whole situation all wrong.

  C-53: Yeah.

  [the crew walk back over]

  DELAMP: Florgorg, do you think we have room in our house for even more adoptees?

  KIDS ON PHONE: Mommy! Daddy!

  PLECK: Oh no.

  KIDS ON PHONE: Mommy! Daddy!

  FLORGORG: Uh, I think we do, I mean- would you guys want to be our dependents?

  DELAMP: Yeah would you?

  PLECK: Are y- I’m sorry are you talking to the three of us?

  DELAMP: No, no, we’re on speaker phone with our respective adoptive children.

  PLECK: Oh, sorry.

  KIDS ON PHONE: …Yeah!

  PLECK: Listen, Florgorg, can I ask you a question?

  FLORGORG: Yeah.

  PLECK: I- what do you know about Takk’sys?

  FLORGORG: Takk’sys, oh. I’d still call her a dear friend of mine.

  PLECK: Yeah.

  FLORGORG: Even though we might have ended on not so good terms.

  DAR: What happened?

  FLORGORG: Oh, well I just broke up with her and she didn't really like that.

  PLECK: Oh, yeah ok that makes sense.

  DAR: Yeah that’s… that makes a lot of sense.

  C-53: Yeah that.. kind of explains a lot.

  PLECK: Well uhh, you know I think we found what we're looking for here, we’re just gonna head back to our desk, where we were filling out some forms.

  FLORGORG: Okay, well, make sure you guys stick around for the light show.

  PLECK: Oh yeah!

  C-53: Oh yeah.

  FLORGORG: They'll be something special.

  C-53: Are there any moral concerns about the..?

  PLECK: Yeah, I was gonna say does that bother you at all that- you shoot non-dependent people into the sky?

  FLORGORG: Eh no, Hmm I just always assumed if there are people in the world who don't love anyone then, it's probably a great honor to die and in your death you make so many people happy.

  DELAMP: Right?

  C-53: That's a.. extremely positive way of looking at that.

  PLECK: Yeah.

  DAR: Really is.

  PLECK: Also, D-Delamp, I feel like you, you of all people really value illumination.

  DELAMP: What do you mean?

  C-53: Well the way you-

  DELAMP: What's that supposed to- what?

  FLORGORG: What do you mean by that?

  C-53: You're incandescent.

  DELAMP: What- I don't know what you're trying to get at.

  [speakers announce: Doctor Delamp, Doctor Delamp, there is a patient here]

  PLECK: Wait, D-Delamp, you're a doctor?

  DELAMP: Yes.

  FLORGORG: Yes, he is.

  DELAMP: I'm a podiatrist.

  PLECK: Listen, Delamp I hate to ask you this-

  DELAMP: Hmm.

  PLECK: Can you take a look at my friend Dar?

  DELAMP: Sure.

  [Delamp turns his light on and squelching can be heard]

  DELAMP: Oh. Oh boy, has-

  [Delamp turns his lamp off]

  DELAMP: -your friend Dar been exhibiting uhh, it’s weird to say it on this day when we're celebrating this but, maybe an extreme sense of dependence on anyone?

  C-53: Yes, uh, yes, actually.

  DELAMP: Really?

  PLECK: Yeah, yes, yes.

  DELAMP: Hmm. Did uhh, ah this is a really touchy question- did your friend Dar uhm, how to say this-

  PLECK: Have sex with a corpse?

  DELAMP: Yeah.

  C-53: Yes.

  PLECK: Yes, yes.

  C-53: Yes, she did.

  DELAMP: Right, that all checks out.

  PLECK: You're a good podiatrist.

  DELAMP: Uh Dar, can you lay down and show me the bottom of your feet?

  DAR: Mmm.

  DELAMP: Luckily this happens to be uh-

  C-53: Oh you're kidding.

  DELAMP: No.

  C-53: Wow we really lucked out.

  DELAMP: It’s uh-

  [Dar falls to the ground smashing things on the way down]

  DELAMP: Oh!

  [a metal bowl clatters]

  DELAMP: -foot disorder.

  C-53: I don't know if this was in response to your request or if she has just passed out but, these are her feet.

  DELAMP: Hm. Alright, Florgorg, hand me that syringe.

  PLECK: Where’s-

  FLORGORG: Of course, baby.

  PLECK: Oh w-

  DELAMP: Thank you, baby.

  FLORGORG: Here you go, my love.

  DELAMP: Thank you, baby.

  FLORGORG: You're welcome, baby.

  DELAMP: Thank you, baby.

  FLORGORG: Love you, baby.

  [Florgorg and Delamp begin making out]

  PLECK: There's sort of- feels like there's a time crunch here.

  DAR: There is, Pleck- Pleck c'mere.

  PLECK: Wha-what?

  DAR: C'mere please, come- come close.

  PLECK: [whispering] Okay.

  DAR: [slurring] Time is almost up, you have to kill me.

  PLECK: No I- I cant- we’re about to cure you!

  DAR: No.

  C-53: Dar we've got a doctor-

  PLECK: We've got a doctor.

  DAR: You promised me.

  PLECK: We've got a doctor here who can help you.

  DAR: You promised me!

  DELAMP: We’re just gonna stab this in the foot.

  [Delamp stabs Dar]

  DAR: Hachi machi! Huhhh..

  PLECK: Dar, are you feeling okay?

  DAR: …Yeah.

  PLECK: Hey, great.

  DAR: Woah, yeah.

  FLORGORG: Doctor Delamp has done it again!

  DELAMP: Hm?

  PLECK: Listen Doctor Delamp, I really can't thank you enough, and I gotta say great healthcare.

  DELAMP: Well- unfortunately I'm not in network.

  PLECK: What!

  C-53: Oh.. oh no.

  DELAMP: I'm not..

  DAR: Ohh.

  PLECK: What!?

  C-53: No, no.

  DELAMP: -in the network for The Rebellion.

  FLORGORG: Very costly if you're not in the network.

  PLECK: Oh come on.

  DAR: Come on!

  FLORGORG: It's going to be incredibly expensive.

  [transition sound]

  SR REP: Alright, last- have you been rehearsing for the Dependents Day dance?

  BARGIE: Yes.

  SR REP: Great.

  BARGIE: I've uh I've memorized it, I've added a couple of my additional new moves.

  SR REP: Risky,

  BARGIE: I know!

  SR REP: Risky.

  BARGIE: I know! I know! I was thinking about doing a little- a little toosh shake and a hatch open!

  SR REP: Oh a hatch open, I like that actually, people don't usually do that because then- you know all the, you know stuff comes out.

  BARGIE: Stuff comes out, people call it stuff, they're not stuff, they're our insides. It feels amazing talking to another ship.

  SR REP: It does, it feels really good.

  BARGIE: Happy Dependents Day.

  [transition sound]

  PLECK: Uh Takk’sys?

  TAKK'SYS: Yeah? Did you kill him?

  PLECK: Listen..

  C-53: Oh yeah, we were not able to.

  PLECK: It didn't- we were not able to kill Florgorg.

  TAKK'SYS: What?!

  PLECK: I mean-

  TAKK'SYS: What the hell’s wrong?

  PLECK: Well, a couple reasons, first uh, seems like a good dude?

  DAR: Real good dude.

  TAKK'SYS: [sighs] That is exactly what he wants you to think.

  PLECK: And did you meet Delamp? delightful guy, great doctor.

  TAKK'SYS: Of course I know Delamp! A great doctor?

  PLECK: Well- I mean he- he cured Dar.

  C-53: Almost instantaneously.

  PLECK: Yeah.

  TAKK'SYS: Wow, you really do look better.

  DAR: Thank you.

  PLECK: Listen Takk’sys, thanks for your help, thanks for filing those forms for us.

  TAKK'SYS: You're welcome. Thanks I guess for nothing, this is the worst Dependents Day since last year.

  PLECK: What happened last year?

  C-53: Yeah.

  TAKK'SYS: [sighs] Killed my lover.

  PLECK: Oh… okay. Wait so-

  C-53: Yeah, Takk’sys you killed your lover last year?

  PLECK: So, hold on a second.

  C-53: Why don't you just do it again this year?

  PLECK: Also, that was a bad Dependents Day, and it didn't happen this year, what do you want Takk’sys?

  TAKK'SYS: [mocking] I don't know what I want!

  PLECK: Okay, alright.

  TAKK'SYS: Okay?

  PLECK: Okay, yeah.

  C-53: Yeah.

  TAKK'SYS: I am just fundamentally unhappy and I like to push that on to other people!

  PLECK: Okay..

  TAKK'SYS: I'm a bureaucrat!

  PLECK: Okay.

  C-53: ‘Kay

  PLECK: Listen, your-your self-awareness really make up for a lot of your shortcomings, Takk’sys.

  C-53: Yeah.

  TAKK'SYS: Thank you so much, did y’all get a hamburger, did I ask that already?

  PLECK: Yeah, no we decided against it, because of the hand washing thing.

  C-53: Because of the hand washing thing.

  TAKK'SYS: Oh you're not gonna.. Okay, alright. Think you're too good for hamburgers..

  C-53: No we’re not too good, you just made it sound like a bad idea.

  TAKK'SYS: I- I don't have any recollection of that.

  [transition sound]

  CELEBRATOR: Hey everybody, the ships are doing the Dependents Day dance in the sky!

  [Jordan B’Korkans ‘This Dependents Day’ can be heard playing while ships fly around]

  PLECK: Wow! Look at them go! Man I didn't think Bargie had moves like that.

  ANNOUNCER: Ladies and Gentle fellows of SR, please gather round the dais of the super big stage, and wonderfully observe the explosions of the independents.

  C-53: Wonderfully observe?

  PLECK: Yeah..

  C-53: Hm.

  ANNOUNCER: Ahh one!

  [fireworks get shot off with each name called]

  NAME CALLER: Joseph Rang.

  PLECK: Oh they say his- they say their names?

  C-53: Wow, it is beautiful though.

  PLECK: Ah, I don't know.

  C-53: It's really striking.

  ANNOUNCER: Ahh two!

  NAME CALLER: Mika Perce.

  PLECK: I don’t- I don’t.

  TAKK'SYS: Oh my gosh, I heard he owed the government a lot of money.

  ANNOUNCER: Ahh three!

  NAME CALLER: Plop Tonk.

  TAKK'SYS: [gasps] I heard, that he was actually a pretty nice guy, that's too bad that happened to him.

  DAR: Sad.

  ANNOUNCER: Four!

  NAME CALLER: Bleep.

  TAKK'SYS: I don't know much about him.

  C-53: Just Bleep.

  ANNOUNCER: And now, gather round the dais of the such big stage, for the grrrrand finale! Of this-

  PLECK: Why are we still here.

  ANNOUNCER: -Dependents Day celebration!

  [fast-paced fireworks start being let off]

  NAME CALLER: Jacob Fore, Ellanoo, Sandra Two, Taylor Three, Aylee Ayle, Taylor Four, Sandy Noomy, Dookie Naratis, Haerk Bukar, Corky Deloval, Evra Ttore, Sydney Sydney, Bob the Squealer, Hanko, Bazingy, The Doorstopper, Rickrick Rickrick, Horse and the Cat, Blueblood Hairpin, Tassicor, Tilla Pilltill, Susandra Susan, Eric Fantic, Jork, John, Susanna the Tapho, Theora Katarpy, Brian the Corpsmaster.

  ANNOUNCER: Oh wait, wait.

  C-53: Oh, the fireworks stopped..

  ANNOUNCER: Wait, wait, Brian the Corpsmaster was a dependent, no!

  PLECK: Oh no.

  NAME CALLER: No!

  TAKK'SYS: Oh…no.

  [transition music]

  PLECK: Dar, is it weird that I'm your parent now?

  DAR: No, because you and I were both denied coverage, so, doesn't really matter.

  PLECK: Hm.

  DAR: Have to file again next year.

  PLECK: Oh boy, least we weren’t shot into the sky, huh?

  DAR: Mm.

  PLECK: Honestly, I'd rather not have healthcare than be shot into the sky.

  C-53: [stern] Pleck, you need healthcare.

  PLECK: Yeah, you're probably right.

  C-53: For your eye, that's not-

  PLECK: It’s-

  C-53: It's not right.

  PLECK: It’s ready to burst.

  [incoming transmission beep]

  C-53: Emissary Decksetter I have an incoming transmission from Missions Operations Manager Nermut Bundaloy.

  PLECK: Hey! Nermut.

  DAR: Hello Nerm.

  NERMUT: Heyyy!

  C-53: Nermut, you.. alright?

  NERMUT: What is up! I'm good!

  DAR: What is that that you're wearing?

  NERMUT: This? This is uhh Dependents Day hat it’s uhm-

  C-53: Looks like a picture of orange beer turned upside down.

  NERMUT: Huh, yeah. Hehe whoops! Thought it was eh- my hat.

  PLECK: Oh boy, wow, having a great time over there.

  NERMUT: Having a really good time but it’s- it’s really lame when dependents is on- the middle of the week because you still have to go to work the next day.

  DAR: I mean you're still at work.

  PLECK: -at work.

  NERMUT: Oh, that's true!

  PLECK: Well, for what it's worth uh, Nermut you know we- we uh filed the paperwork, uhm, Dar and I did not qualify because of our-

  NERMUT: What!

  PLECK: Because of our pre-existing conditions.

  DAR: Pre-existing conditions.

  NERMUT: Ohh yeah, the big eye and weird stuff.

  PLECK: Yeah, yeah.

  DAR: Yes.

  PLECK: But Dar’s mostly better and I can see real well out of this eye, so.

  NERMUT: Okay.

  PLECK: Everything's great by us!

  NERMUT: Oh, good. So I'm about to go on this- this trampoline.

  PLECK: You've a trampoline at work?

  NERMUT: Well it's like the, they brought it out for the- for the Dependents Day celebration and I'm gonna hop up on it, watch.

  PLECK: Oh.

  C-53: Oh, Nermut, ah.

  NERMUT: Hm?

  C-53: There's a lot of, much larger people on the trampoline already.

  NERMUT: No im- woahh!

  [the trampoline can be heard squeaking as Nermut and others bounce on it]

  PLECK: Oh.. you've to watch those hollow little bones Nermut.

  [Nermut groaning and making incohesive noises]

  C-53: Nermut, Nermut are you covered?

  [Nermut falls off the trampoline]

  NERMUT: [straining] Did you- did you put in my-

  PLECK: No, we had to file your paperwork?

  C-53: We assumed that you would put in your own paperwork, Nermut.

  DAR: Yeah, why would we file yours?

  NERMUT: You know what?

  [a pause]

  C-53: What?

  [Nermut chugs an orange beer]

  PLECK: Oh, wow.

  NERMUT: [slurring] Happy Dependents Day!

  PLECK: Okay, alright.

  C-53: Okay.

  PLECK: Alright, have a good one, Nermut.

  DAR: Bye Nerm.

  C-53: See ya, Nermut.

  DAR: Good luck.

  [end transmission noise]

  BARGIE: I feel like we should end this Dependents Day with uh some of the dance moves that I did during the dance of ships.

  PLECK: Oh, you were really good Bargie, I really liked those moves, all that swooping.

  BARGIE: Okay, one, two, one, two, three two swoops, two swoops!

  [Bargie begins dancing while saying the moves, making the crew fall around]

  PLECK: Woah! Ah.

  C-53: Bargie I can't-

  PLECK: Bargie you can't-

  BARGIE: -go into space

  [the crew all shout as the fall to the end of the ship]

  BARGIE: -and you go up and shake your little toosh, and you open your hatch!

  PLECK: Oh no!

  BARGIE: And then you open your hatch again!

  [Jordan B’Korkans ‘This Dependents Day’ begins playing]

  C-RED-IT5: This is C-RED-IT5, credits and attribution droid commencing outro protocol. Emissary Pleck Decksetter was played by Alden Ford, C-53 was played by Jeremy Bent, security officer Dar was played by Allie Kokesh, Bargie the ship was played by Moujan Zolfaghari, Missions Operations Manager Nermut Bundaloy, and Delamp were played by Seth Lind, Takk’sys, Florgorg and Bargie’s SR Rep were played by Laura Willcox. She's appeared on Inside Amy Schumer and You're The Worst, and she is currently writing for the Jim Jefferies Show. You can find her parody wedding guide book, I Am Bride, on amazon or wherever books are sold. Follow her on twitter @ laura_willcox. This episode was edited by Seth Lind, the sound design and mix by Shane O’Connell, music by Brendan Ryan, opening crawl narration by Jeremy Crutchley, ship design for the Bargarean Jade by Eric Geusz. Mission to Zyxx is brought to this galaxy by Audioboom, thanks Audioboom! A very special thank you to our Patreon supporters who are making season two possible. This episode features the hit single ‘This Dependents Day’ by stroid country legend, Jordan B’Korkan, written and performed by Shane O’Connell and Alta Finn. Want to blast it at your Dependents Day cookout? Download the mp3 at therebellion.space.

  [OUTTAKE]

  C-53: Not to paint everybody on a binary spectrum of being good or evil but-

  PLECK: Sure, sure.

  C-53: -Takk’sys seems like maybe not a good person..

  PLECK: Yeah, yeah.

  DAR: Bad person! Very bad!

  PLECK: Yeah.

  [dog barks]

  ALLIE: Yeah, very bad, very bad.

  JEREMY: Oh, a pack of dogs is chasing us.

  [Seth laughs]

  JEREMY: Sorry, someone’s at the door.