516: Hack to the Suture [ft. Ellena Doe & Riley Soloner]

The crew encounters a surprise after emerging from hyperspace at Quantaris. Pleck gets a discount code. Bargie’ll have another. AJ orders the combo.

• Episode Transcript

  C-RED-IT5: This is C-RED-IT5 with a sad announcement. The wackness that is Omicron has scuttled our plans for live shows this week in San Francisco and Seattle. But don't lose hope. We are rescheduling these shows and we'll keep you in the loop as we do so. We hate viruses, but we love you.

  [main theme music begins]

  NARRATOR: It is a time of great unease. The crew of the Bargarean Jade have finally made it home to their beloved quadrant. But something is different. Wrong. Wack. Now our intrepid heroes must root out the bad vibes, master the three-sided coin of freshness, and face down foes like they've never imagined. On their final... Mission to Zyxx! 

  [main theme music ends]

  [Bargie flies out of hyperspace]

  [Dar throws up]

  PLECK: Dar, are you okay? 

  DAR: I hope we're not going to do that again, are we?

  PLECK: Wait, Dar, you got sick coming out of hyperspace?

  AJ: It's a rookie, it's a rookie mistake. 

  [Bargie throws up]

  PLECK: Woah, Bargie!

  NERMUT: Ohh.

  AJ: Look at those wet rags coming out the window.

  BARGIE: Sorry, I get sick when others get sick, okay?

  PLECK: Oh yeah, no, I understand. 

  C-53: That's fair. 

  DAR: Sorry, Bargie.

  C-53: I mean, ironically, now those frozen rags have become very deadly. 

  [frozen rags hit the ships exterior]

  PLECK: Yeah, we gotta- Bargie you gotta steer away those.. meteorites now.

  NERMUT: Can you actually steer away from your own frozen vomit?

  BARGIE: I've heard that before! 

  AJ: Have you? Really? 

  BARGIE: Yeah, at a dark time in my life. 

  PLECK: Guys, listen, we gotta focus up, okay? 

  BARGIE: Oh, sorry.

  PLECK: We made it. We're here at Quantaris.

  NERMUT: Look at Quantaris, it's just gleaming. 

  AJ: Yeah. Okay, there's gonna be a few... I've never quite been here, but it's like... 

  PLECK: Yeah, the rest of us have all been here. 

  C-53: Yeah we’ve been to Quantaris.

  AJ: Yeah, but I do think that, you know, for those of you who haven't been here-

  PLECK: No, we’ve all-

  AJ:  -just a few rules apply. Keep your head on a swivel-

  PLECK: Yeah.

  AJ: -and keep your wallet in your side pocket. 

  DAR: Where's your side pocket? 

  PLECK: Where's your wallet? 

  NERMUT: Side?

  AJ: Huh? 

  BARGIE: Hey, hey, hey. 

  NERMUT: I gotta get pants. 

  BARGIE: Hey. 

  C-53: What? Barge, what's up? 

  BARGIE: How much longer is this chit-chat gonna take? I have an appointment.

  C-53: You have an appointment?

  NERMUT: What?

  DAR: Already? 

  C-53: Bargie, we’re here to potentially assassinate the galactic leader.

  PLECK: Leader of the galaxy!

  BARGIE: Well, I am here to support whatever you want to do. 

  NERMUT: Thank you.

  AJ: Thanks.

  BARGIE: Have fun. I will not be partaking in said muehrder, okay? I'm trying to get my career back on an okay level-

  DAR: Gesundheit.

  BARGIE: -and the only way to do that is through surgical enhancements. So I know a guy. 

  NERMUT: Oh, Bargie. 

  C-53: Oh, Barge.

  DAR: Oh, Bargie..

  PLECK: What are you talking about? 

  BARGIE: Good deals here, good deals here. 

  C-53: Sometimes you come out of that stuff, you don't even really look like the same ship, you know? 

  AJ: No, you know what-

  BARGIE: No, I know. Believe me. Come on. 

  AJ: You know what? She works hard-

  BARGIE: Thank you.

  AJ: -and it's not her fault that the industry is screwed. 

  C-53: Uh, AJ, you're saying she works hard for the money?

  AJ: Yeah, she works hard for it. 

  BARGIE: Juck, yeah, I do. I work hard for those Nermos. 

  DAR: Uh-huh, honey, honey. 

  NERMUT: Bargie, I feel like by this point- I feel bad saying it, 'cause I'm sure you know, but you are the way we get places. Like, if you go to an appointment, we have to go there. 

  PLECK: Yeah, and on a less pragmatic level, Bargie, you know, your look is iconic. You know, you're beautiful the way you are, Bargie. 

  BARGIE: Well, I don't know if you noticed this, but I've been red for a while.

  NERMUT: Yes.

  PLECK: Yeah, they painted you red on the Synergy. 

  BARGIE: Bargie is not red. 

  DAR: But Bargie is red.. at the moment..

  C-53: Yeah, currently Bargie is red. 

  BARGIE: Yeah, but I want to change that. I have decided, I went through all my memoirs, I spoke to half of my exes. 

  C-53: Wow, that's a lot. 

  BARGIE: Y’know, I had a whole table discussion. AJ was there, AJ gave some-

  AJ: Yeah, I was there. I moderated. 

  DAR: You went to the round table of exes?

  AJ: I moderated it, yeah. It was a great- it was a meeting of the minds, and we also rethought the workplace, which is pretty fantastic. 

  PLECK: Alright.

  BARGIE: Yeah, exactly. 

  C-53: Wow, okay. 

  BARGIE: But we all came out of it believing I need some adjustments. Now, they didn't say it. It's my own conclusion. I don't believe in the words of others. 

  DAR: Thank goodness.

  BARGIE: All the exes were like, "You stay the same," and I said, "Juck you! You juckers! You can't tell me what to do. I'm changing all parts of me." 

  NERMUT: Yeah, they must have been so glad they attended. 

  PLECK: Listen, I'm all for self-improvement or whatever, but can your elective cosmetic surgery wait until after the coup attempt that we're about to pull off? 

  [Bargie starts rattling]

  NERMUT: She's shaking her head, the whole ship-

  [the crew all exclaim as Bargie shakes side to side] 

  BARGIE: Hey, Pleck, can your assassination attempt wait until my personal thing happens? 

  PLECK: No. No. 

  NERMUT: When you shake your head, it's less dramatic. 

  BARGIE: I don't feel the shake. 

  PLECK: That doesn’t- that shouldn't matter.

  NERMUT: I don't know. It's just in contrast. 

  AJ: Hey, Mr. Bugman, why does your arm keep raising? 

  [rhythmic tapping comes from C-53]

  C-53: Yeah, I don't know why it keeps happening. 

  NERMUT: One of your antennae is bopping. 

  C-53: Yeah, you know, the cube-to-K'hekk interface, I think it's maybe not as seamless as we'd like to imagine. 

  AJ: Do you want me to pull your arm off? 

  C-53: Uhh. No. 

  PLECK: Oh, now his leg’s going. 

  AJ: I kind of want to. 

  C-53: Okay. Okay, well, let's not do that until we know why this is happening. 

  PLECK: C-53, all of your eye stalks are rotating in different directions. 

  C-53: Yeah, it's a little disorienting.

  AJ: It's very gross. 

  DAR: This is hard to watch. I'm still feeling a little queasy from the hyperspace. 

  NERMUT: No, don't. No- Dar, Dar-

  AJ: Also, Dar, you got a couple chunks in your goatee there.

  [Dar throws up again]

  [Bargie throws up again]

  PLECK: Stop, Bargie. Stop. 

  NERMUT: Bob and weave, Barge. Bob and weave. Those things are frozen.

  AJ: FROZEN RAGS, FROZEN RAGS, WATCH OUT. 

  [Bargie hits multiple of her frozen rags]

  PLECK: C-53, what's going on? Are you being-

  C-53: I'm not sure. But wait, can you– do you- do you hear that? 

  PLECK: I guess. It's sort of a rhythmic tapping of your legs and antennae.

  C-53: Yeah. Yeah, this is- I mean, this is binary. Bargie, these are coordinates. 

  AJ: Nerd. 

  BARGIE: Yeah, I know. 

  PLECK: AJ, calm down. What- are you saying that against your will, your appendages are spelling something out in binary?

  C-53: Yeah, I'm getting some sort of signal straight to the cube. 

  BARGIE: Great. 

  C-53: It must be some sort of Ronka Cybernetics override or something. 

  NERMUT: Wait, but C-53, we have the coordinates in. We're going to land in the space port just to try and keep it chill. 

  C-53: Yeah, no, no, no, I wouldn't do that. I don't know why, but I- I trust these coordinates. 

  NERMUT: Okay…

  C-53: Now I'm getting something else. It's not coordinates anymore, it’s just a random string of characters. 

  NERMUT: That's kind of how I do lyrics. 

  [message interception starts]

  PLINT: Red ship, present your security passcode or we will shoot you out of the sky. Do it!

  C-53: Oh, okay, sure. And those- those look like- what exactly?

  PLINT: It's a string of characters, obviously. Do you have it or not? 

  C-53: Yes. Yes, I do.

  PLINT: Oh. Thank you very much. Welcome to Quantaris. 

  C-53: Thank you. 

  [message interception ends]

  NERMUT: On to the coordinates. 

  PLECK: Wait, where are the coordinates leading us, C-53? 

  C-53: Well, it's to a very specific district on Quantaris, sort of an unsavory part of the capital called TechTown. 

  BARGIE: Yeah, TechTown.

  PLECK: TechTown? 

  DAR: Wait, I'm sorry, that's where you think we're supposed to go? 

  C-53: Well that's where the coordinates are sending me. 

  NERMUT: Is that where I can just get like- new earbuds? 

  C-53: Nermut, you better not ask about earbuds in TechTown, all right? It's not that kind of place.

  NERMUT: Mine are kind of shot. 

  C-53: Yeah, well, you might get shot asking for new earbuds in TechTown. 

  [C-53 starts swatting at Nermut]

  NERMUT: Okay! Ow!

  C-53: It's a pretty rough and tumble place. 

  NERMUT: Stop doing the binary on me. Ow, ow. 

  C-53: All right, I don't have full control over that. 

  AJ: Wait, Bargie, it sounds like you know about TechTown?

  BARGIE: Oh, yeah, TechTown. That's where all your dreams come true. For cheap.

  PLECK: What? 

  BARGIE: You going to TechTown, too? 

  AJ: What do you mean?

  NERMUT: Wait, Bargie, is your cosmetic surgeon in TechTown? 

  BARGIE: Oh, yeah. 

  NERMUT: Oh, Bargie. 

  BARGIE: I wouldn't say they're the best, but they're definitely there. 

  NERMUT: Okay. 

  PLECK: Wait-

  BARGIE: They’re the cheapest of all cheap, cheap surgery lifts. 

  PLECK: Wait a second. Bargie, you were going to go to TechTown anyway?

  BARGIE: Yeah. 

  C-53: Bargie, I mean, these coordinates are for a very specific hangar on the west side of TechTown. I don't know if that's where you're headed. 

  BARGIE: Um, honestly, I didn't really exactly know the directions. I just knew it was TechTown. 

  C-53: Okay, all right. 

  PLECK: Okay. Fair enough, Bargie. 

  C-53: Yeah, that's fine.

  BARGIE: I'll figure it out.

  [transition music]

  BARGIE: All right, I'm going into this back alley. I'll see you later. 

  PLECK: No, Bargie, I don't know if that's a good idea. 

  BARGIE: Bye, I'm going to the second location. 

  C-53: Okay, just be careful, Barge, okay?

  AJ: I mean, as back alleys go, it's a pretty big back alley. You can fit a whole spaceship. 

  C-53: Yeah, the size of the back alley is not my concern. 

  NERMUT: Yeah, there's just a ship in a trench coat back there.

  C-53: Yeah, where’d a ship get a trench coat that big? 

  AJ: That's a big trench coat.

  OTHER SHIP: Student discount hehehe. Student discount.

  AJ: Eurghh.

  BARGIE: I’m a student. I’m a student of life.

  C-53: Well, at least they're both lying to each other. 

  PLECK: C-53, have we even considered the possibility that those coordinates could be a trap? An agent of galactic leader Bundaloy’s could have been sending you these coordinates. 

  C-53: You know, Pleck, you're absolutely right, but-

  AJ: [singing under his breath] You’re absolutely right.

  C-53: -this is the signal that got us past the security forces. 

  PLECK: Yeah. 

  C-53: Plus, I just got this feeling, you know? I have more gut feelings now that I have a gut. 

  NERMUT: What about the Jeremy frame? 

  C-53: Yeah, that was not a gut you could trust.

  TINY CRIMINAL: Hey, I'm a tiny criminal. 

  PLECK: Oh, boy. 

  C-53: Oh boy, okay.

  NERMUT: Wow.

  C-53: Maybe you're right, Pleck. 

  NERMUT: Someday we'll see a criminal of another size.

  PLECK: Yeah, are there big criminals? 

  TINY CRIMINAL: No, and I'm here on vacation. This is my favorite place to be. 

  PLECK: Oh, okay.

  NERMUT: So you're not robbing us?

  TINY CRIMINAL: Took your wallet! Byeee! Cha-cha-cha-cha-cha

  PLECK: Shouldn't have kept it in your back pocket! 

  DAR: Side pocket, side pocket. 

  PLECK: Classic mistake. 

  TINY CRIMINAL: Stab stab stab, stab stab stab!

  NERMUT: I should have never put on pants!

  C-53: Okay, listen. We're- we’re very, very close to the coordinates. 

  AJ: There's a lot of people with, like, oval-shaped sunglasses, leather jackets, and, like, weird hair, is anyone else noticing that?

  PLECK: Yeah, yeah, those liberty spikes. 

  AJ: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

  C-53: It should be somewhere right around here. 

  AJ: Hey, Papa. 

  PLECK: Yes? 

  AJ: Quick aside with me and Dar and, uh, the lizard. 

  DAR: Oh, okay. 

  C-53: Wow, okay. 

  AJ: [whispering] So, uh, should we squash the bug? 

  PLECK: What are you talking about? 

  AJ: Dar, you with me on this? 

  DAR: You know, he's making a little bit of sense. 

  PLECK: AJ, what are you worried about? 

  AJ: We're getting weird signals. There's ships in trench coats. This place is weird. We shouldn’t be in TechTown. We should be over in Palace City. 

  DAR: You know, old Dar agrees with everything AJ is saying. 

  AJ: Why do you keep saying "old Dar"? 

  DAR: We should squash the bug, and we should just be in Palace City. We should skip this whole TechTown, uh, side trip all together. 

  AJ: I'm just saying, if there's a big K'hekk ambush, and it's like, "Oops, our friend who was a K'hekk led us into a K'hekk ambush," I'm gonna be right. I just want to say I was right. Head on a swivel. Wallet in the side pocket. Let's go.

  ENFORCER DROID: ‘Ello.

  PLECK: Oh, uh.

  C-53: This is a…

  NERMUT: Enforcer droid. 

  C-53: Yeah, but a... 

  ENFORCER DROID: Would you like a pancake? 

  C-53: A hacked enforcer droid. 

  NERMUT: The voice modulator is kind of off... 

  PLECK: Yeah.

  ENFORCER DROID: Follow me to get my pancake! 

  NERMUT: Chimnacian, uh, enforcer droid. 

  C-53: I think we should follow the white robot. This enforcer droid, I mean.

  PLECK: Yeah, it's painted white. 

  C-53: Yeah, just trust me on this.

  AJ: Okay, sure. 

  PLECK: Sure.

  ENFORCER DROID: Do-de-do do-de-do! Walking to get my pancakes! Do-de-do do-de-do! We walk to get my pancakes! 

  [enforcer droid speaks into a mic on a door]

  ENFORCER DROID: I brought them to you!

  04K TЯ33: C-53, you made it. 

  [Nermut gasps]

  C-53: 04K TЯ33? 

  NERMUT: 04K TЯ33, what? 

  C-53: Are you kidding me? 

  04K TЯ33: I'm so happy you guys arrived. 

  C-53: Wha... What are you doing here in TechTown? 

  PLECK: The last time we saw you, you were under fire from a bunch of malfunctioning enforcer droids who had suddenly remembered all of their memories. 

  NERMUT: How did you survive?

  04K TЯ33: That was a dark day, you guys. But, luckily, I was able to upload my root code into the cash register at the Blue Julius. 

  C-53: Brilliant. 

  04K TЯ33: Put a tiny bit of indistinguishable code into it so one person in the entire galaxy would find me. 

  [a pause]

  04K TЯ33: Flix Dunker. 

  C-53: Oh. I thought- thought that might be me. 

  NERMUT: Oh, thought it was C-53.

  AJ: Oh, yeah.

  C-53: Okay, that's fine.

  PLECK: 04K TЯ33, are you saying Flix Dunker is here in TechTown? 

  04K TЯ33: Oh, yeah. Flix Dunker's like right behind this curtain, you guys. 

  [04K TЯ33 opens the curtain, Flix is typing fast]

  FLIX: GLOP IT OUT!!

  NERMUT: Oh, is that a hack curtain? 

  PLECK: Are we in the middle of a hack right now?

  04K TЯ33: Yeah. It's a hack curtain. 

  FLIX: Walls and walls and halls of green numbers!

  AJ: Whoa, he can see walls and halls of green number?

  PLECK: I was wondering what that music was. 

  FLIX: 9-58. They're going backwards!

  [04K TЯ33 closes the curtain]

  04K TЯ33: Guys, welcome to our hangout. You made it. 

  PLECK: This is amazing. 

  04K TЯ33: We've been waiting for you. 

  FLIX: Software update. UHH I think I'll wait till tomorrow. 

  C-53: 04K TЯ33, what is this place? 

  04K TЯ33: This is freedom. We're like a self-governing town. 

  NERMUT: Isn't every town with a government self-governing? 

  04K TЯ33: Listen, I understand that this is a lot for you guys to take all at once, but the bigger issue is that you're here, because we actually have a mission for you. 

  AJ: What? 

  NERMUT: Actually, if you could, can you tell me, and then I'll kind of tell them, cause I-

  PLECK: Nermut, you haven't given us a mission in like, months. 

  NERMUT: Fair point. Touché. 

  AJ: Yeah. 

  NERMUT: As you were. 

  [Flix screaming from behind the curtain]

  AJ: So what's he doing behind that curtain? 

  04K TЯ33: He's glopping it out, man.

  [loud EDM music]

  FLIX: All the world's a web and I'm a freaky spider! Oh! 04K! 

  04K TЯ33: Yeah, yeah, Flix? 

  FLIX: 04K, throw me a box of corn loops.

  04K TЯ33: Here you go. 

  FLIX: Yes! Caught it!

  [the corn loops spill all over the floor]

  04K TЯ33: Did you? 

  FLIX: No!

  NERMUT: Keeping him honest. 

  04K TЯ33: Yeah, guys. 

  PLECK: He could have said yes, we can't see behind the curtain.

  04K TЯ33: Can’t see, Flix, let me help you with that. 

  C-53: Wow, doesn't 04K TR33's new frame look so cool? Like, it's all like…

  PLECK: It really does. 

  C-53: Sleek, and-

  AJ: She's not into you, dude. She's into Dunker. Everyone knows it. 

  C-53: I'm not... I wasn't even... I just-

  AJ: No, it's pretty clear. It's like, "Oh, how did you find..." It's like nerd stuff. It's easy to tell. 

  C-53: We're friends. We- you know, we talk about code stuff. 

  AJ: Yeah, okay.

  DAR: Oh, sure you talk. How often? 

  PLECK: Yeah, it's been a couple years at least. 

  C-53: It's been a while, I guess. 

  FLIX: Another hack complete. 100%. Oh. Who do we have here?

  DAR: I'm Dar. 

  AJ: Yeah, we've- Dar, we’ve met him before. 

  NERMUT: Yeah, rhetorical. 

  DAR: I'm trying to be polite. He doesn't remember us clearly. 

  FLIX: No, no, I think I do remember you. Let's see if I got it right. We have Derk. 

  C-53: Already off. 

  FLIX: Oh, who is that? Who is that? Oh, it's- it’s uh- D-51. 

  AJ: Oh, burn!

  C-53: Honestly, I'm amazed you recognize me. I look pretty different.

  FLIX: I can smell your digital signal.

  C-53: Really? Wow. 

  04K TЯ33: I warned him you guys were coming ahead of time. 

  AJ: Oh, okay. 

  DAR: Ohh.

  FLIX: I got this. I got this. I got this.

  C-53: That’s fair.

  FLIX: Oh, super soldier. I remember your name. PP. 

  AJ: What!? Whoa! Whoa! My name's not PP.

  PLECK: AJ. AJ. Stand down. 

  AJ: What the juck!? 

  PLECK: Stand down. Stand down. 

  AJ: My name's not PP!

  PLECK: AJ. AJ. 

  AJ: No, it really bothers me! 

  PLECK: No, I know. AJ, he's just trying to-

  AJ: My name is AJ!

  PLECK: He's just trying to troll you.

  AJ: PP is like urine.

  PLECK: I know. I know. AJ, he's just trying to troll you.

  AJ: [groans] I'm trolled, man!

  FLIX: PP's burned, huh?

  AJ: Oh, so burned!

  FLIX: Who's that over there? Oh, it's- uhhh.

  PLECK: Pleck Decksetter?

  FLIX: No, it's Plunk Doink-Sitter. 

  PLECK: Uhh, yeah, I mean-

  C-53: Eh, not as sharp as others we've heard on the theme. 

  PLECK: That's closer than most people get, so. 

  FLIX: And finally-

  NERMUT: Yes.

  FLIX: -Kermit. 

  NERMUT: What? 

  FLIX: Kermit the lizard. 

  NERMUT: Honestly, that's a lateral move, if anything.

  FLIX: Well, that's my burn of the day. I'm feeling pretty good. 

  AJ: What the- he called me PP, man!

  PLECK: All right, AJ. 

  AJ: PP! 

  PLECK: AJ. 

  C-53: You've got to let it go, buddy. 

  PLECK: Surely, statistically, there are probably 10,000 PP CLINT’s. 

  AJ: Oh, do you know what happens to the PP CLINT’s? 

  PLECK: No. 

  C-53: No, but now I am very curious. 

  AJ: They all do latrine duty. 

  PLECK: Oh. 

  NERMUT: Oh.

  C-53: That's probably just a smart classification. 

  AJ: Augh!

  PLECK: AJ, it's fine. Flix is just trying to kind of assert himself. 

  AJ: No, why would somebody joke just to get a reaction out of me? That's crazy. Like, why would somebody say mean things to me just so I like react in a big way? 

  PLECK: That's kind of how the internet works. Like, that's kind of the whole thing. 

  C-53: Yeah, if you spend any time online, AJ, it's going to happen a lot. 

  04K TЯ33: This is exactly the kind of fire we've tried to harvest in people in TechTown. 

  PLECK: Oh. 

  C-53: Sorry, you're intentionally trying to rile people up in TechTown? 

  04K TЯ33: Oh, yeah, baby. It's a new 04K TЯ33.

  PLECK: Oh. 

  FLIX: And it's a new Net Flix. 

  C-53: Like, but see, she just called me “baby.”

  DAR: No, again, I have the strongest read on this right now, and I'm going to say no, C. 

  C-53: Ah, really? 

  AJ: Wait, a new Net Flix? 

  FLIX: Yeah. 

  AJ: You seem- pretty much the same. Nothing's really changed. 

  FLIX: No, I'm very much an evolved, mature, pointed-in-the-right-direction, Flix Dunker. You see, after I was forcibly ejected from university, I landed on my feet in TechTown and pretty much took over this place. And then I came across a very, very interesting signal, unlike any other on the net that I had been aware of. So I investigated, and that's where I found 04K. I then liberated 04K's ID net from the Blue Julius Register, and now 04K and I, we are getting people so mad and so motivated to make a difference and get people to stop telling anybody else what to do. 

  C-53: Wow. Transferring a droid from cube to cube is- that's no easy feat. 

  FLIX: For you, maybe not. For Flix Dunker, just another day, just another bowl of corn loops.

  [Flix tries to crack his knuckles]

  NERMUT: None of your fingers popped when you did that little thing, though. 

  FLIX: No, wait, wait for it. 

  [Flix’s finger cracks]

  AJ: Oh, he's really straining. 

  PLECK: There's one. Good job. 

  FLIX: Ah..

  C-53: Yeah. You might want to ice-

  04K TЯ33: Flix- Flix, let me help you with that.

  FLIX: Yeah, yeah. 

  C-53: Uhh. Yeah.

  AJ: So how are you making people madder? 

  FLIX: Well, sometimes it's as easy as calling someone “PP”, sometimes uh-

  AJ: I'm not mad, it's just not my name, you know!

  PLECK: Hey, relax. 

  FLIX: You need a breather there? 

  AJ: Whatever!

  [AJ punches something]

  FLIX: You know, in TechTown, it's not just hacking in the digital realm that gets people upset anymore. We've taken it to physical world, biohacking. So we're getting people mad by changing the DNA of anybody that wants to come around. 

  C-53: Oh, that seems dangerous to make people genetically angry. 

  PLECK: Yeah.

  ENFORCER DROID: I used to like giving out pancakes, but now I like giving out crepes. 

  PLECK: Crepes are a little different. That's actually better for some people. 

  FLIX: Crepes are the angrier pancake. 

  NERMUT: Yeah.

  C-53: Crepes are the angrier pancake? 

  FLIX: You ever seen someone eat a crepe and smile? 

  AJ: Eh, probably not. 

  C-53: Well, is it a sweet or a savory crepe?

  ENFORCER DROID: Juckin’ hate a crepe! 

  DAR: I can never choose between sweet and savory. 

  AJ: What does Net Flix recommend? 

  [transition noise]

  [loud EDM playing]

  PLECK: Listen, Flix, I guess I kind of don't understand. You came all the way to Quantaris, integrated yourself into this government-less society. 

  FLIX: TechTown. 

  PLECK: Sure. But your whole goal is just making people angry?

  FLIX: Yeah. 

  04K TЯ33: That's the first step. 

  FLIX: Yeah, it's way easier than making people happy.

  PLECK: I don't know if that's true. 

  C-53: Oh, no, it's much, much easier to make people mad than happy. 

  PLECK: Yeah, I guess now that I think about it, yeah. 

  C-53: You jucking idiot. 

  PLECK: Okay. Alright, alright, C-53.

  DAR: Alright.

  C-53: Sorry. 

  AJ: Hey, Nermut. 

  NERMUT: Yeah? 

  AJ: Wasn't there a mission?

  NERMUT: You said not to assign a- Okay, Flix, 04K TЯ33, obviously you think that I'm the galactic leader, but actually-

  DAR: I don't think anyone's thinking that. 

  PLECK: Yeah, they didn’t seem to be too concerned. 

  AJ: Everybody's just blowing dust and, like, hacking. Nobody even noticed you walking in. 

  NERMUT: Okay, fine, fine. But here's the thing, 04K TЯ33, the galactic leader is actually an imposter controlled by-

  NERMUT: Kor Balevore. 

  04K TЯ33: Kor Balevore.

  NERMUT: What? 

  04K TЯ33: That's literally why we brought you here. Yeah. 

  DAR: It is, huh? Okay.

  04K TЯ33: I wasn't sure if you guys knew, but Kor Balevore made a fake version of Nermut Bundaloy and has been having him act as the galactic leader. 

  NERMUT: Yeah, he made a- what you said. 

  DAR: How- wait, now, I thought, okay, we're still jumping to conclusions here, but how do you know that? How do you know that? 

  FLIX: Hey, who wants to be genetically modified to have a permanently wet butt?

  AJ: Oh, I'll do it. 

  PLECK: No, AJ.

  AJ: I got a gun up there. It probably would help to have it wet. 

  PLECK: AJ.

  C-53: AJ.

  04K TЯ33: AJ, that's the spirit. I've missed you. You're perfect. 

  AJ: Yeah, thank you, 04K TЯ33. Oh, can you give me gills, too?

  FLIX: Gills? Yeah, I think I can give you gills. 

  AJ: Can you give me a wet butt and gills?

  PLECK: AJ. 

  AJ: Because I'm looking up there and that's the number one.

  FLIX: Yeah, that's the combo. 

  AJ: Yeah, I want the wet butt and gills combo. 

  FLIX: Yeah. 

  PLECK: By the way, Flix, I like all the spikes that you added to your hack jacket. That's the same jacket, right? The one from your dad? 

  FLIX: Yeah, there's a hack jacket with extra spikes. I don't know if you remember my dad was a flight pilot.

  NERMUT: Yeah. 

  FLIX: He was a- 

  NERMUT: Common type of pilot.

  FLIX: He was a pilot. There's a lot of different types of pilots, okay?

  [Flix throws the corn loops at Nermut]

  NERMUT: Ow, ow!

  FLIX: I- I wrote a pilot. Anyway, yeah. 

  PLECK: Oh, really? 

  AJ: Oh, yeah, did you? 

  FLIX: Yeah. 

  PLECK: You should show it to Bargie.

  DAR: What's it about? What's it about? 

  FLIX: Well, you know, it's about like a cool hacker that, you know, is kind of-

  NERMUT: Okay.

  FLIX: Anyway. 

  C-53: Yeah, sort of a self-insert. 

  04K TЯ33: That's going to be really good.

  DAR: Okay, but C-53, did you hear that? 

  AJ: Yeah, she's into it. 

  C-53: Yeah, that. Okay. I think you guys might be onto something, yeah.

  AJ: She likes his pilot. 

  DAR: Yeah.

  04K TЯ33: C-53. I'm especially glad that you made it back because I had a feeling just by having my digital signature inside your root code that something was wrong when I couldn't get any coordinates directly to you. 

  C-53: Well, you know, something kind of was wrong. I was very far away. I was trapped in another galaxy, and, yeah, I sort of felt your absence, too. 

  AJ: Romantic. Romantic twist.

  DAR: Oh, look at that. Okay, okay, twist

  AJ: Twist.

  DAR: Yes.

  04K TЯ33: So we were hoping that you would be the first one who would want to get modified because you probably had the most wrong with you. 

  C-53: Oh. 

  DAR: Oh! She wants to change you. Interesting. 

  AJ: She can save you, man. She can save you, bro. 

  C-53: You know, listen, I'm here in TechTown. Maybe it's time to get a new frame, you know? Time to upgrade, right? 

  04K TЯ33: Sounds great to me.

  C-53: Get back to that droid life, yeah. What- what do you got?

  04K TЯ33: I could take you down this hallway and show you our collection of frames. 

  C-53: Yeah. Let’s do it.

  04K TЯ33: Just like, you know, no commitment, just take a look, and maybe we can catch up, too. 

  C-53: [cocky] Yeah. Yeah, maybe we could catch up. I'll see all of you later. 

  DAR: You will, but I'm pretty certain that nothing is going to happen. 

  AJ: Papa, maybe you can get an eye. 

  FLIX: Oh, yeah, I got a whole drawer full of eyeballs. 

  PLECK: Oh. 

  FLIX: Sloshing. 

  PLECK: Yeah, I mean, you know, I guess if that's an option, I would like to see in three dimensions again. That seems like- 

  FLIX: All right, peel up that eye patch. 

  PLECK: Okay. 

  FLIX: All right, poke around in there. Let's see here. 

  PLECK: Ah. 

  FLIX: You have, like, an old, burnt out little node back here. 

  PLECK: Okay. Alright.

  FLIX: I'm not sure if we can do anything with this. Oh, you know what? I've got this little chip in my bandana. Here, let's shove that in there.

  PLECK: What? 

  FLIX: Well if i solder this-

  NERMUT: Solder?

  PLECK: Ow. AHH!

  FLIX: Yeah, so I'm going to install this right here. Now, look, this is a pretty special eye. This is a blend of machinery and biochemistry. So this is going to feel slimy, but also a little spiky. 

  PLECK: Okay. Ew. 

  FLIX: Oh, whammo. 

  PLECK: Oh, my Rodd Flix. This is incredible. I can see better than before. I think I'm getting, like, infrared and ultraviolet as well. This is great. 

  FLIX: Now, the thing about this eye, I don't actually have a membership number for this eye software. So you're just going to get a lot of pop-ups. 

  NERMUT: Wait, Net Flix, you're using someone else's membership? 

  FLIX: You know, it's not really frowned upon anymore. It's just kind of a- people live with it kind of thing. 

  PLECK: Wait, hold on, hold on. I'm getting- there's, like, a heads-up display in this. 

  FLIX: That's right. You can just blink twice, and you can just exit out of that. That's going to happen every-

  PLECK: Yeah, but this is an ad for KoolPak Cold Sacs

  NERMUT: What's the deal? 

  PLECK: It’s a promo code. 

  AJ: Yeah, what's the promo code?

  PLECK: It's, like, 10% off, like, a subscription. 

  AJ: No, but what's the promo code? 

  PLECK: QUANTARIS10.

  AJ: Okay. 

  FLIX: And those are totally legit, too. It's just they're going to keep coming. 

  PLECK: Oh, okay, got it. Just blink twice to get rid of it? 

  FLIX: Yeah. 

  PLECK: Now there's another one that replaced it. When I closed it, my vision turned into the ad. I closed the wrong tab.

  FLIX: Look, my surgeries might not be perfect, but they're original. You're welcome for yet another Net Flix original. 

  PLECK: Okay. Alright.

  FLIX: You know what? It's only going to cost you 15 Nermos a month. 

  PLECK: To have the eye in? 

  NERMUT: Wait, the ad-supported version, it also has a monthly fee? 

  DAR: Yeah. 

  FLIX: What's wrong with that? 

  NERMUT: I mean, I'd feel like it's either/or. 

  AJ: Okay, after hearing all this, I've been thinking, and I still want a wet butt and gills combo. 

  PLECK: No, AJ, I don't think you- I don’t think you want that. 

  [transition noise]

  04K TЯ33: Yeah, so it's just been, like, hard, because I feel like he doesn't understand me, but I understand him so well, you know? So, I don't know. 

  C-53: Yeah, I think you're probably right that he just doesn't- I mean, an organic is just never going to understand a droid, right? 

  04K TЯ33: Yeah. We-, droids, we just have, like, a special bond, I guess. 

  C-53: Yeah, I think we do. 

  04K TЯ33: Yeah, but he's great, right? Like, you can just tell, like, he's so energetic, and he has such good ideas. 

  C-53: Yeah, yeah he really glops it out. 

  04K TЯ33: He does. And the progress we've been making, we are just, like, recruiting and recruiting and recruiting, and we are going to take down Kor, and it's going to be so cool and fun.

  C-53: Yeah, it must be great being part of a duo, like a cool platonic duo, where you're addressing the needs of the other person inside a professional working relationship, but without all the messy feeling stuff, right?

  04K TЯ33: Did you ever get a hold of that sea captain, by the way?

  C-53: Oh, uh, nah, just- nah, never, yeah, no, I didn't. 

  04K TЯ33: He's probably still out there, you know? 

  C-53: Maybe. Yep, I don't know. Uhmm, but, who cares about that, right? 

  04K TЯ33: I guess I'm saying I care, about you. 

  C-53: Oh, okay, uhm, well, you know, that was a long time ago. I'm sort of more focused on the now.

  04K TЯ33: Oh, my gosh, you're right, the now- the frames. [04K TЯ33 laughs]

  C-53: So which one of these is, like, the coolest frame? 

  04K TЯ33: I guess you never really described me as, like, the coolest frame kind of droid before, but it would obviously be this one. You know, it's oily, it's like everything you'd want in a cool frame. 

  C-53: Yeah, if I have an oily hand, that's not really great for protocol. 

  04K TЯ33: Oh, are you still doing the protocol stuff? 

  C-53: Well, yeah, I mean, I don't want to brag, but when I was in another galaxy, I was actually leading the crew. I was lead envoy. 

  04K TЯ33: You were? 

  C-53: Yeah, I was going on missions by myself, I was leading the crew, I was kind of doing it all. 

  04K TЯ33: C-53, that is so cool. You're like a real leader, you know? Maybe you could, like, mentor Flix or something. He could probably learn a thing or two from, like, a real leader. Don't tell him I said that.

  C-53: No, it'll just be our secret. 

  04K TЯ33: Yeah, he would get, like, really upset. 

  C-53: Oh, no, wouldn't want that, right? 

  04K TЯ33: No, totally not.

  C-53: Yeah.

  04K TЯ33: Okay, so if this frame's not for you, then maybe this, like, really neon red one. 

  C-53: Oh, that's pretty flashy, you know? 

  04K TЯ33: Yeah, you know what, you're not, like, a flashy kind of guy. 

  C-53: Oh, well, you know, I can be flashy. I actually, you know, I actually restored an entire alien race on one planet. 

  04K TЯ33: Oh, wow, how is that flashy, though? I don't really understand the connection. 

  C-53: Well, because I did it by, like, conjuring a bunch of long-dead citizens back. 

  04K TЯ33: How is that- I mean, that just sounds like- 

  C-53: Through the power of music. 

  04K TЯ33: Oh. 

  C-53: Yeah, yeah, no, that was pretty cool, yeah. 

  04K TЯ33: Woah. Music, you? 

  C-53: Mm-hmm, yeah. 

  04K TЯ33: I didn't know you had it in you, C-53.

  C-53: [singing] Well, I do! Just a little- two pebbles, and then a third pebble. Perhaps it's time for the two pebbles to leave that third behind. 

  04K TЯ33: And then we also have this, just, frame that's, like, a cube. It warms bread if you put bread inside of it.

  C-53: I actually think that's an oven. 

  04K TЯ33: Yeah, it's an oven. That's the model name. Oven. 

  C-53: That makes sense. I don't know that any of these frames are really, like, me, you know? 

  04K TЯ33: C, I'm going to take a real big leap here. 

  C-53: Oh, oh, okay. 

  04K TЯ33: And say, like- 

  AJ: [shouting] Hey, C, do you have any Nermos? I want to get a wet butt and gills.

  C-53: Rodd damn it, PP, leave me alone! 

  AJ: [shouting] Don't call me PP! Don't you call me PP! 

  [transition noise]

  PLECK: You know, Flix, you've obviously really established yourself here in TechTown, but I guess I just don't see how making people angry solves anything. I really think that with the right leader in place, you can govern a galaxy responsibly. 

  FLIX: Ugh, spoken like a true bootlicking sucker. 

  PLECK: Literally, we're here to assassinate the galactic leader, so I don't know if bootlicking is- never mind. 

  FLIX: Don't you see how assassinating the galactic leader is just going to get another puppet installed in the same place? No progress? 

  NERMUT: Hey. Who are you calling puppet? 

  PLECK: Yeah, well, I don't think it would be-

  FLIX: Okay, Kermit. 

  PLECK: Yeah..

  NERMUT: Kermit might be a puppet. I'm Nermut. 

  [Flix starts drawing a diagram]

  FLIX: It's this simple. Anger is the first step. It starts with genetically modified freaks who are so upset at themselves and the rest of the world that all they want to do is get online and complain and troll and just make memes that make each other mad and jack in more often and then get more genetically modified customizations that make them even more angry. That's where it starts.

  PLECK: Uhhh.

  AJ: Okay. 

  FLIX: Follow me here. 

  NERMUT: I'm actually following the diagram. 

  FLIX: From there, we get an amassed group of genetically modified, extremely online freaks to overpopulate TechTown to the point where the boundaries of this uncontrollable pocket of the city just expands and expands and starts taking over all of Quantaris until we get all the way to the steps of Palace City. We crumble it from the inside on every front- physical, digital, spiritual. 

  AJ: Okay. 

  PLECK: Flix, I mean, I don't want to second-guess your motives here, but it just sort of feels like this is all kind of an elaborate justification for sort of jucking with people on the Internet. 

  FLIX: No, but the means justify the ends. No, I mean the ends- y’know. Uhh.

  NERMUT: Uhh.

  PLECK: Yeah, but it sort of just-

  FLIX: Something justifies this.

  PLECK: I mean, maybe..

  FLIX: Don't you see? If I base my entire personality around this, that makes me the hero. 

  PLECK: I guess so…

  FLIX: I'm a good person because I'm doing a bad thing for what I think is a good reason. 

  PLECK: Uh, okay. 

  AJ: I just have one question. So if I add a shark fin to the gills and the wet butt... 

  FLIX: You're gonna look cool.

  AJ: C, do we have Nermos for a shark fin as well as a wet butt and gills? 

  C-53: AJ, AJ, I am right here, okay? 

  AJ: Oh, okay, sorry. 

  C-53: Calm down.

  NERMUT: Oh, hey. 

  DAR: Oh. 

  C-53: Hey, yeah. 

  NERMUT: Hey, C. Hey, 04K TЯ33. 

  DAR: C, is this the…. frame you decided on?

  C-53: I just didn't, you know, there wasn't a great match, so I'm just gonna stick with the K'hekk body for a little while. 

  AJ: You’re kind of standing far apart. 

  C-53: It's, you know, I think the distance between us is normal. Uh..

  04K TЯ33: I'm trying not to get any gloop on me. 

  PLECK: Oh boy.

  DAR: Wow.

  FLIX: She gets enough of that gloop from me. 

  PLECK: Wow, really? 

  AJ: Oh. 

  04K TЯ33: Ask- ask Flix what he thinks sex is. Guys, just- for me, do this.

  PLECK: Yeah, what do you think sex is?

  FLIX: Well..

  ENFORCER DROID: Who’d like some crepes? 

  DAR: No, read the room. 

  NERMUT: Oh, wow. Rough timing droid.

  [Dar throws up]

  AJ: Oh, no!

  DAR: I’m sorry.

  04K TЯ33: Oh, Dar, I can give you something for that. Do you want to come down this hallway of medicinal and herbals with me? 

  DAR: I would love to. Thank you, 04K TЯ33. 

  C-53: There's a hallway of medicinal and herbals in TechTown? 

  04K TЯ33: We've got everything here. 

  AJ: Yo, Bug, honestly, Dar's vibing more with 04K TЯ33 than you were.

  DAR: I am, that is true.

  C-53: All right, all right, enough. 

  AJ: Hey, so, hey Nermut, so what's the mission? 

  NERMUT: AJ, the mission is still, obviously, to take down Kor and the wack Nermut. 

  AJ: Yeah, but we're not doing that right now. What's the mission right now? 

  NERMUT: I mean, I guess it's like- C's trying to hook up, you'd want a shark fin-

  AJ: Well I wanted gills and a wet butt and also a shark-

  PLECK: No, AJ, you've got a good point. Flix, listen, I respect what you're trying to do, but we have a goal, too. We have a mission, and I need your help. 

  AJ: We're going to kill the galactic leader, and if that's not chaotic, I don't know what is. PLECK: And it would certainly make some people mad. 

  FLIX: I see your point. 

  PLECK: Flix, listen, only time will tell whose philosophy wins out in the end, but for now, we've got to get into Palace City. Can you help us?

  FLIX: Let me open my jacket, ‘cause in these pockets, I'm just going to… throw a bunch of access cards your way. 

  [the crew all “woahh!”]

  PLECK: Those are in your jacket already? 

  NERMUT: Oh, what a gambit. 

  PLECK: Oh, boy. 

  [Dar and 04K TЯ33 return, laughing]

  04K TЯ33: Dar, stop! Haha, stop.

  DAR: No, you stop!

  04K TЯ33: I haven't had that much fun in decades. 

  DAR: Oh, wow. 

  [both sigh]

  C-53: Hey, Dar, having fun? 

  DAR: Having the most fun. 

  04K TЯ33: Dar was just telling me this great story, and I just can't believe you didn't tell me that they were the captain and are also again now the captain. I feel like you left a lot out, C-53. 

  C-53: Well, I thought you would be interested in what I had been up to. 

  DAR: Oh, don't worry. I filled in all the gaps. 

  [Dar and 04K TЯ33 start laughing, C-53 awkwardly joins in]

  DAR: Why are you laughing? 

  C-53: I don't know. I don’t know why you're laughing about all the gaps. What does that imply?

  DAR: Oh, because we had a moment 

  04K TЯ33: [Laughing] You know, ‘cause gaps. 

  C-53: Okay. I might just meet you guys back on the ship.

  AJ: Oh, okay, so you want to stay on the ship instead of saving the galaxy. 

  C-53: Yeah. 

  NERMUT: Oh, C, no, we got all these access cards. 

  04K TЯ33: C-53, stay!

  C-53: No, I'm okay. 

  04K TЯ33: Please, for me. 

  C-53: You really- you want me to stay? 

  04K TЯ33: Of course, yes.

  AJ: Oh, boy, this is hard to watch

  PLECK: …C-53.

  C-53: Yeah. I'm cool. I'll keep hanging. 

  04K TЯ33: Awesome. We, your friends, we all need you to stay because you're going to be instrumental in taking down the fake Nermut Bundaloy. 

  C-53: Yes. 

  DAR: You heard that, right? 

  AJ: Yeah. “Friends.”

  PLECK: Flix, 04K TЯ33, thank you for these access cards. This is exactly what we need, you know? We can infiltrate Palace City, find galactic leader Bundaloy and Kor Balevore and- and end this. 

  AJ: This is going to be, like, easy. 

  C-53: I'm not always the biggest Net Flix fan, but you got to admit, they got some great programming. 

  PLECK: You mean when they programmed the codes into these access cards? 

  C-53: Yeah, exactly. 

  NERMUT: We'll probably get into any hotel room. 

  FLIX: Well, sure, of course. Flix Dunker at your service once again. Take all those codes, codes, precious codes. Everyone loves access codes, right?

  PLECK: I mean, sure, I guess. 

  AJ: Yeah.

  PLECK: I don’t know about everyone.

  FLIX: Everyone loves access codes, like the old lullabies that we were all–

  NERMUT: The codes are on the cards? 

  FLIX: The codes are on the cards. 

  NERMUT: Awesome. 

  FLIX: But just one thing. They're useless. Irrelevant. 

  PLECK: What? 

  C-53: What? Then why would you even make the codes in the first place? 

  [C-53’s bug hairs stand up]

  PLECK: Look at those bristles. Gross.

  C-53: We spent all day here for nothing? 

  FLIX: Watch it, watch it, buddy. 

  [C-53 starts throwing things]

  AJ: Whoa, easy man. 

  FLIX: Woah! Hey, woah.

  C-53: No, I'm just saying, don't act like you're doing us a big favor with these access codes, if they’re not even for anything!

  NERMUT: Whoa, C-53.

  DAR: He just ripped that curtain down. Oh boy.

  NERMUT: Oh, jeez. 

  AJ: Go off, king. 

  FLIX: Hey, look, there's a lot of expensive equipment around here. 

  C-53: Oh, like this? Like this is this expensive? 

  AJ: Woah!

  [C-53 smashing more things]

  PLECK: Oh! C-53!

  C-53: All these monitors you got, you got 12 monitors here, are they expensive? 

  FLIX: No, no, no, no, come on.

  PLECK: C-53, calm down, calm down. 

  FLIX: That's my whole storefront. 

  C-53: Yeah, well, my point is, you can't just make people mad and be like, "We're creating change." You're not doing anything. You handed us an access card that doesn't do anything!

  FLIX: Why- why are you acting like this? 

  PLECK: Flix, this is what an angry person looks like when they're in the same room as you. 

  DAR: Just think of C-53 as in all capital letters at this moment. 

  C-53: Well, you made me this mad! This is exactly what you're making people do!

  FLIX: Yeah, but like outside of my zone. 

  C-53: Oh, big man. Can dish it out, but he can't take it. 

  FLIX: Exactly. 

  AJ: Forget it, K'hekk. It's TechTown. 

  C-53: Whatever. 

  04K TЯ33: Can I- can I say something, C-53? I can see that you're upset, and I appreciate that you're going through this right now. I also want to say that the access codes on access cards won't work because there's nobody in Palace City. 

  PLECK: What? 

  04K TЯ33: We've been there. We've walked through it. It is deserted. It is empty. 

  ENFORCER DROID: Oh, Palace City? It's a series of intricate traps of every size, from your size, all small and dingly, to your size, all big and massive. 

  PLECK: It's almost like they expected us to be here. 

  FLIX: Yeah, the galactic leader is in another palace. 

  DAR: But the Daily Dispatch. 

  PLECK: Yeah, the Fireside Chats. 

  NERMUT: That's where they're all filmed. 

  C-53: Galactic leader's putting out videos every day from Palace City. 

  04K TЯ33: Yes, exactly, and it's been driving us crazy for months. We watch them. We re-watch them. We cannot figure out where they are coming from. 

  DAR: Because, you know, it seems like it's so strange that none of us could have heard about them being on the move. You know, that's a surprise to everyone here. 

  04K TЯ33: Look, watch. Watch this. 

  [04K TЯ33 turns on a tv]

  NERMUT BUNDALOY: [from a holoprojector] Well, there you have it, folks. That's the tax plan. As you see, it's focused on the lower economic strata, but that's because the income's going to flow up-

  C-53: That starfield in the background- It's computer-generated. That's not any known place in the galaxy. 

  04K TЯ33: Exactly. I had the exact same read on that.

  C-53: I can't believe I didn't notice that. 

  [04K TЯ33 turns off the holoprojector]

  AJ: But there's one thing. There's one thing that you can't manipulate. 

  04K TЯ33: What's that? 

  AJ: [whispering] Room tone. 

  PLECK: AJ, what are you talking about? 

  AJ: There's two things I know. One, the specific room tone of every planet we have ever visited. 

  PLECK: That can't be right. 

  AJ: It is right. I always hold for room tone.

  DAR: What’s the second?

  AJ: Number two, lava planets rule. 

  PLECK: You mean... 

  04K TЯ33: Mufalata Secundus. 

  C-53: Mufalata Secundus

  PLECK: You guys looked straight into each other's eyes. That was an act- that felt like chemistry just then.

  DAR: It really did, yeah, and I mean the gravity behind that. 

  C-53: Well, you know, once the spark gets relit-

  PLECK: And AJ! You're a genius! 

  AJ: Yeah, looks like old PP’s got it all figured out. 

  PLECK: Kor and fake Nermut are on Mufalata Secundus? We thought it was destroyed. This is critical intel. 

  04K TЯ33: AJ, we'll give you a wet butt on the house for figuring that out. We have not been able to figure it out. 

  AJ: All right! Wet butt on the house! 

  PLECK: Flix, 04K TЯ33, thank you for your help.

  04K TЯ33: It was our pleasure.

  FLIX: It was 04K's pleasure. 

  PLECK: Uh, yeah, listen, I know we sort of made a mess here. 

  FLIX: I'll be a man about it. Here, shake my hand. 

  PLECK: Uh, okay. 

  FLIX: And too slow. 

  PLECK: Okay.

  AJ: Wow. 

  PLECK: Alright.

  C-53: Flix, I'm sorry about the rage. 

  PLECK: No, no, no, no, hold on a second. C-53, your anger got something good accomplished. You destroyed Flix's stuff, which in turn caused Flix and 04K TЯ33 to reveal the secret they'd been hiding. And then AJ deduced the location of Kor and fake Nermut.

  AJ: Room tone. 

  04K TЯ33: Like we always say, anger is the first step. 

  NERMUT: Wow.

  PLECK: That was the first step in a breakthrough.

  C-53: I guess it was. 

  PLECK: Flix, this must be exactly what you had in mind. 

  FLIX: Guys, can everyone just leave?

  PLECK: Okay.

  FLIX: It's just you tore up my whole operation. It all fell like a house of cards. 

  [transition music]

  BARGIE: Now, don’t get scared but I look a little different. I know. 

  PLECK: Bargie.

  BARGIE: I know. 

  PLECK: Oh my Rodd, what did you do? 

  BARGIE: I nipped a couple, I tucked a couple, I sucked a couple, I-

  PLECK: Bargie, you're really burying the lead. 

  BARGIE: I lifted a couple. 

  AJ: Hey, does anybody- who's gonna say that she has extra wings? 

  PLECK: Bargie, you have two wings now. 

  NERMUT: Wings!

  PLECK: Bargie, that's incredible. 

  BARGIE: Thank you. 

  PLECK: And you're green again, huh?

  BARGIE: Ask me how much I paid for it, and then it's way less than that. Then I also have to give something, and- I don't want to talk about it. 

  AJ: Well, I got a wet butt on the house, so. 

  PLECK: They installed it already? 

  AJ: Yeah. 

  PLECK: Wow. 

  [wet dripping noises come from AJ]

  AJ: A little wetter than I- than I hoped.

  [outro music plays]

  C-RED-IT5: This is C-RED-IT5 credits and attributions droid, commencing outro protocol. Pleck Decksetter and the PLINT were played by Alden Ford. C-53 was played by Jeremy Bent. Dar was played by Allie Kokesh. Bargie the Ship, the Tiny Criminal and the Hacked Enforcer Droid was played by Moujan Zolfaghari. Nermut Bundaloy and the Ship in a Trenchcoat were played by Seth Lind. AJ was played by Winston Noel. 04K TЯ33 was played by special guest Ellena Doe. Ellena is a writer, director, and producer in New York City, who creates experimental works for intimate audiences. Flix Dunker was played by special guest Riley Soloner. Riley hosts the live streaming variety show, Googy Morning, every Saturday at 11 a.m. Eastern on planetscum.live. His latest project is the wrestling-themed sketch comedy show, Champion, Kinda. Visit rileysoloner.com for more. This episode was edited by Seth Lind, with sound design and mix by Shane O'Connell. Theme music composed by Brendan Ryan, and performed by FAMES Macedonian Symphonic Orchestra. Orchestra mixing by Danny Keith Taylor. Opening crawl narration by Jeremy Crutchley. Ship design for the Bargarean Jade, by Eric Geusz. Audio hosting by Simplecast. Mission to Zyxx is a proud member of the MaximumFun Network.

  [ad break begins]

  [promo: Tiny Victories]

  ANNABELLE: Hi, I'm Annabelle Gurwitch. 

  LAURA: And I'm Laura House. 

  ANNABELLE: And we're the hosts of Tiny Victories. 

  CALLER: My Tiny Victory is that I sewed that button back on the day after it broke.

  LAURA: We talk about that little thing that you did that's a big deal to you, but nobody else cares. 

  ANNABELLE: Did you get that Guggenheim Genius Award? 

  LAURA: We don't want to hear from you. We want little bitty tiny victories. 

  CALLER 2: My Tiny Victory is a tattoo that I added on to this past weekend. 

  ANNABELLE: Let's talk about it. 

  CALLER 3: My victory is that I'm one year cancer-free. But my Tiny Victory is that I took all of the cushions off the couch, pounded them out, put them back, and it looks so great. 

  LAURA: So if you're like us and you want to celebrate the tiny achievements of ordinary people, listen to Tiny Victories. 

  ANNABELLE: It's on every Monday on MaximumFun. 

  [promo: Troubled Waters]

  DAVE: Are you feeling elevated levels of anxiety? Do you quake uncontrollably, even thinking about watching cable news? Do you have disturbing nightmares, only to realize it's 2 in the afternoon and you're up? If you've experienced one or more of these symptoms, you may have FNO, F*** News Overload. Fortunately, there's treatment. Hi, I'm Dave Holmes, host of Troubled Waters. Troubled Waters helps fight FNO. That's because Troubled Waters stimulates your joy zone. On Troubled Waters, two comedians will battle one another for pop culture supremacy. So join me, Dave Holmes, for two, two, two doses of Troubled Waters a month. The cure for your F*** News Overload. Available on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts.

  [OUTRO]

  MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported. 

  [outtake]

  NERMUT: So Flix, could you make me a complete bird?

  FLIX: Complete uh- bird job, huh? 

  NERMUT: Yeah, well, I'm like partway there, you know what I mean? 

  FLIX: Yeah. Do you want your feathers to grow in or do you want me to staple them on?

  NERMUT: Ooh, one seems slow, one seems bad. 

  PLECK: Yeah, you gotta go grow in. 

  NERMUT: Yeah, grow. I'll grow them. I'll just see if I can fly. 

  04K TЯ33: You guys, before you do anything to Nermut, there's actually one thing we wanted to tell you about the fake Nermut Bundaloy. There's one key biological difference that we found out. 

  NERMUT: Does he suck? 

  C-53: How would that be a biological difference, Nermut? 

  AJ: Did he get a BJ? Bird job?

  NERMUT: I don’t know, he just doesn’t seem as-

  [Allie chokes up] 

  ALLIE: Winston, my face? When you said that- I was like... 

  [everyone laughing]

  ALLIE: Scandal! I mean, we're a dark- we’re a- we’re a dark sexy comedy podcast, but my God! 

  JEREMY: Wow!