Cube2Cube
THE HOTTEST FRESHEST MOST JUCKED UP POP CULTURE PODCAST IS BACK WITH THE SALTIEST TAKES, THE HOTTEST GOSS AND A WHOLE LOT OF **HOUSEKEEPING** (INSERT LASERS HERE). WITH UR HOSTS BARGIE AND C53 AND ALSO SOME JUICCCY GUESTS U NEVER GUESS WHO AJ. SPONSORED BY SWEET BABY DADDY HYPER-PROTON FUEL, GUZZLE GUZZLE TOOT TOOT AND SUBSCRIBE, MOTHERJUCKERS!!!!!!1111
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C-RED-IT5: This is C-RED-IT5 with a special off-season minisode. The following audio file was found on a microchip at the abandoned offices of the Essentially Entertaining Podcast Network, and its broadcast to you has been made possible by our heroic supporters on Maximum Fun. And if you're a Maximum Fun member, check the bonus feed right now for a new exclusive episode that we recorded live at the PodX Podcast Festival. Want in? Join at MaximumFun.org/donate. And now, please enjoy the only surviving episodes of the award-losing podcast, Cube2Cube.
[intro music]
BARGIE: Bah dah buh bah dah bah, bah dah buh bah dah bah-
BARGIE AND C-53: Cube2Cube!
[Throughout this entire episode, Bargie and C-53 speak in a loud, frantic tone]
BARGIE: It's time for Cube2Cube with the two favorite hosts, Bargie-
C-53: And C-53, that’s right! Welcome to Cube2Cube, where we're talking straight from my cube to Bargie's… central processing unit, which doesn't have a cube.
BARGIE: I don't have a cube.
C-53: It's a snappier name for a podcast.
BARGIE: That's right!
C-53: As you know, Bargie, we're going to do a little housekeeping before we get to the matter of discussing pop culture.
[vacuum sounds play over music]
RECORDED BARGIE AND C-53: [singing] House, keeping, house house keeping!
BARGIE: The weather today is pretty good. Outside looks pretty dark because we're in space. Housekeeping number one.
C-53: That’s right, inside the vacuum of space, there's no weather. And if you're experiencing weather, you're in a self-contained atmosphere.
BARGIE: Number two! Number two! It’s time for number two, we got some mail. We got some mail from our fans. What's this one? What does it say? I can't read.
C-53: Alright, I'm having trouble focusing on it, but it seems to be... “Hey, so how does this podcast work exactly? You both run on a liquid fuel substance. One's a ship, one's a droid, and somehow you can both process it.” Hey, buddy, I got all the answers for you!
BARGIE: What does it say? Name them!
C-53; Person who sent this letter, it’s Pleck!
BARGIE: Pleck?
C-53: Yeah, they're in deep space.
BARGIE: Pleck? That's a weird name. Pleck?
C-53: [shouting] Pleck?
BARGIE: [shouting] Pleck?
C-53: [shouting] Pleck?
[Pleck enters]
PLECK: Yeah, what is it, guys?
C-53: Did you send this letter?
PLECK: Oh, yeah, you have my letter. Are you reading it on your podcast?
BARGIE: Third thing for housekeeping, get rid of Pleck.
C-53: [waving] Get out of here! Get out of here!
BARGIE: Get out of here! Get out of here! Get out of here! Get out of here! Alright, last week we got a lot of complaints. People said they didn't understand what we were saying because we were talking too fast. Well, guess what? This week we're going even faster because--
C-53: That's right, if you thought last week was too fast, speed up, brother!
BARGIE: We got a mil of amazing guests today. We're going to talk about pop culture. We're going to talk about culture that's poppin'. We're going to talk about the ground and the ceiling and substances that are solid and gaseous.
C-53: If you think it's going to stop there, you're wrong. Let's get into pop culture. Our favorite thing here on Cube2Cube!
[upbeat music]
SINGER: P-p-p-p, p-p-p-p, pop! Pop culture!
C-53: So, Bargie, what are you looking at in pop culture that's got you excited this week?
BARGIE: Oh, wow. So, I recently saw a movie. I forget the name of it. So, like, try and help me out here.
C-53: Sure.
BARGIE: It's about, like, a small ship that goes through the sky and then a bigger ship and they make--
C-53: Okay, so it sounds like a buddy ship comedy.
BARGIE: But the weird thing is like what's got me real riled up is the fact that I know them both [screaming] and they're both like a BUNCH of fools.
C-53: Whoa!
BARGIE: It's played by J'Gor Baj'or, the ship, I know you. I know you’re out there. Come to the show. Guest on the pod.
C-53: Baj'or, we're asking you to be a guest on the pod. [shouting hoarsely] Won't you guest on the POD?
BARGIE: C-53, what’s something you saw in pop culture this week that blew your life?
C-53: Bargie, I can't wait to tell you about this thing I've experienced in pop culture. Are you familiar with the magazine Droids on Roids?
BARGIE: Yeah.
C-53: It's a magazine only for lifter droids about lifting the most they can possibly lift. I'm not a lifter droid, but like wow, what an interesting subculture that I've never considered before.
BARGIE: Wow, hey, it's time to listen to some voicemails from some of our listeners.
[dial up sounds]
RECORDED BARGIE AND C-53: Voicemails!
VOICEMAIL LADY: We're sorry.
C-53: Alright.
[Voicemail plays]
COLD PERSON: Hi, I-- What is this number? I'm very alone. I'm very cold.
C-53: Whoa, great message. Thank you.
BARGIE: Next.
[Voicemail plays]
CREEPY PERSON: Hey, you need that hyper proton fuel? I got your hook up.
C-53: Okay, this is, uh, this is sorta private one for me. Let's… MOVE ON!
[voicemail plays]
JESSUP: Hey guys, this is Jessup Spike here from Essentially Entertaining Podcast Productions. Just wondering when you're going to have those ten episodes that you--
C-53: Jessup, you're going to be psyched tomorrow.
[Voicemail plays]
MALLORY: Hi, this is Mallory.
C-53: Good old Mallory. It's not an episode of Cube2Cube without a message from Mallory. That's all we always say here on
BARGIE AND C-53: Cube2Cube.
BARGIE: Alright, at the same time, we're going to say what we hate the most this week.
C-53: Okay!
BARGIE AND C-53: One, two, three.
BARGIE: Particles!
C-53: [overlapping] Mashed potatoes!
BARGIE: I said particles.
C-53: I said mashed potatoes.
BARGIE: That's the same thing!
C-53: Mashed potatoes are made up of particles!
BARGIE: Wow, wow. Hey, hey, let's talk about the director that we would juck. Name five directors you would juck.
C-53: Okay okay. Torben Skalgon.
BARGIE: Done it.
C-53: DI-VOX-5.
BARGIE: Done it.
C-53: Morgan Glagglon.
BARGIE: Tri.
C-53: Oh, wow, tricky. Dibbledang Lagloo.
BARGIE: Done it.
C-53: That's Bargie for you. Oh, and I'll say… Noah Baumbach.
BARGIE: [screaming] Never say that name again! Never say that name again! You promised me you'd never say that name again!
C-53: Barge, what can I say? I'm a real No Fuel!
SPONSOR: And now a word from our sponsor.
SINGER: [mournful singing] Kool Pak Cold Sac. For Cold Sac needs. Finding the pack for you.
C-53: That's right. It's the saddest coldpack that exists.
BARGIE: [screaming] I put it on myself and I feel tears.
C-53: Alright, that's all the time we've got for Cube2Cube today. I hope you've enjoyed the show.
BARGIE: We'd like to apologize for the audio quality. Cube2Cube produced by Bargie and C-53 and hyper proton fuel. Edited by hyper proton fuel with special appearance by Pleckthaniel-
BARGIE AND C-53: Pleck. Pleck. Pleck. Pleck.
C-53: What's the middle part?
PLECK: The middle part of my name?
C-53: Yeah.
PLECK: Oh, it's Ugene.
C-53: Pleckthaniel Ugene Decksetter.
BARGIE: And thank you for our studio audience.
C-53: Get out of here.
RECORDED BARGIE: Bah dah buh bah dah bah, bah dah buh bah dah bah-
RECORDED BARGIE AND C-53: Cube2Cube! [music sting]
[a new Cube2Cube episode plays]
RECORDED BARGIE: Bah dah buh bah dah bah, bah dah buh bah dah bah-
RECORDED BARGIE AND C-53: Cube2Cube! [music sting]
BARGIE: Hello, welcome to Cube2Cube, the only podcast that's called Cube2Cube. It's me, Bargie–
C-53: And C-53. That's Cube2Cube.
BARGIE: We talk about pop culture. We talk about greenery. We talk about what's in the air. We talk about food we ate.
C-53: Truly we talk about whatever we want, but first, we've got to do some housekeeping.
[vacuum sounds over music]
RECORDED BARGIE AND C-53: [singing] House, keeping, house house keeping!
BARGIE: Yeah, what's up?
C-53: Well, oh boy, my file structures are getting real loose. I've got to clean up my network. [beeps] There we go. It's done. Housekeeping complete.
BARGIE: Housekeeping number two, I'm pretty sure I have ship glaucoma. Sometimes I just cannot see. I just cannot see outside.
C-53: Bargie, when was the last time you had a sensor scan?
BARGIE: What is that?
C-53: That's when you scan your own sensors for abnormalities in your sensors.
BARGIE: I'm doing it right now.
C-53: How's it going?
BARGIE: Ah, it's red!
C-53: [worried] Okay, ooh, that's bad. It should be green. It's red.
BARGIE: Number three, it's time for some voicemails from our listeners.
C-53: All right.
[dial up sound]
RECORDED BARGIE AND C-53: Voicemails.
VOICEMAIL LADY: We're sorry.
[Voicemail plays]
ANTIPOLITiCAL GUY: I just wanted to say I liked this podcast until it got political. You know, all of a sudden you started saying the word political, and I hate that word, so I turned it off.
C-53: I think this guy's referring to when we were watching that political thriller. I don't know if it’s got anything to do with that political context.
BARGIE: I don't know. We just said the word political.
C-53: Yeah, very weird.
[Voicemail plays]
CREEPY CALLER: Hey, I'm not going to ask you again. I want my money.
C-53: Oh, here we go with this one.
BARGIE: Oh boy, oh boy.
CREEPY CALLER: I want my money for the hyper proton fuel.
C-53: Yeah, get a new line, buddy.
[Voicemail plays]
STALKER CALLER: Hi, I just wanted to know if C-53 was single. I'm watching him from outside of Bargie's window.
C-53: Ooh, that one's got me real creeped out! All right, time to move on to the meat of Cube2Cube, and that’s talking about pop culture.
BARGIE: Pop culture. All right.
[upbeat music]
SINGER: P-p-p-p, p-p-p-p, p-p-pop! Pop culture.
[sizzling sounds]
MEAT GUY: It's the meat.
C-53: Bargie, you've got to talk to me. What in pop culture got you excited this week?
BARGIE: [groaning, returning to normal voice tempo] Hold on, I got a headache. Okay, sorry, I haven't taken hyper proton fuel for like a day, and I think I'm like at the end of it. You know what I mean?
C-53: Bargie, your mistake is not taking more hyper proton fuel than I’m gran-[distressed] Oh Rodd.
BARGIE: Well, yeah, pop culture, sorry. Focus, focus. All right, talking to the mic.
C-53: Eghghh.
BARGIE: Okay, recently I saw a small star, and the star got bigger, and then it–[hurting] oh, my engine. Oh my engine.
C-53: [normal voice tempo] [groans] Oooh Barge.
BARGIE: Oh, wow. Oh, wait, are you going down at the same time as me?
C-53: Oh, yeah.
BARGIE: We're having a crash.
C-53: It's very sharp.
BARGIE: Ugh, something feels salty.
C-53: Yeah, we're not programmed to feel that, but I'm tasting it now.
BARGIE AND C-53: Pleck! Pleck! Pleck!
PLECK: Hey, guys, what's that rattling sound?
C-53: [angrily] Shut up. Turn off the lights in this room.
BARGIE: Ugh, it's like I have motion sickness from being a ship.
PLECK: Can’t you just turn off your visual sensors-
C-53: [snapping] Hey, turn off the lights.
PLECK: Okay. Geez.
C-53: Deck. Setter.
BARGIE: Wait, here's a hot take. My voice is annoying. Have you ever like listened to your own voice, and you're like, what is this?
C-53: It's like two stones just running against each other.
BARGIE: Ugh, it's not my fault.
C-53: I know it's not on you, Bargie, but it hurts to listen.
BARGIE: Ugh.
C-53: Ugh, wow.
BARGIE: Why don't we just toss it over to AJ for the AJ Minute?
C-53: Yeah. AJ, you can do that segment you've been talking about.
[jazzy music]
RECORDED C-53: [singing] You never know what he's gonna say. Why don't we throw it over to AJ?
AJ: Hey, guys. Well, the AJ Minute today is a very special AJ Minute, because I'm talking to you about the dangers of hyper proton fuel. If you know a loved one who is hooked on hyper proton fuel, do what I did and eject all the fuel out of the hatch. Clean as a whistle.
BARGIE: Oh, no.
C-53: AJ. Why did you do that?
BARGIE: Why did you do that? I just got a-- I got a secret stash I have a secret stash. It's underneath one of Pleckthaniel’s boxes. One of Pleck’s boxes.
C-53: All right, I'm rooting around in the boxes.
[pushes Pleck aside]
PLECK: Hey, ow.
C-53: Move it.
PLECK: Ow!
AJ: Sorry, guys. I was pretty thorough. This is an intervention. I care about you both. It's crippl-
[jazzy music]
RECORDED C-53: [singing] Well, that's what was on his mind today. That's all we got from our friend AJ.
[peppy music]
RECORDED BARGIE: It's time to review the movies.
RECORDED BARGIE AND C-53: Review the movies.
C-53: [groaning] Agh, Barge, that theme song is worse than anything.
BARGIE: All right, so we went out and we saw a movie together.
C-53: Oh, yeah.
BARGIE: I don't even remember because we were so jucked up.
C-53: Yeah, we were pretty wild. I mean, I'm looking at my own memory banks, and it's just a lot of colors and shapes. And I can't imagine they'd release a movie just called "Colors and Shapes."
BARGIE: No, no.
C-53: So do you remember what it was called?
BARGIE: I look back at my memory banks, and it's just– it's just this old video of Beano dancing. Let's show the clip.
C-53: OK.
[screen hums]
[music]
BEANO: [singing] Everybody do the Beano!
Everybody do the Beano!
You put a fart foot here.
You put a fart foot here.
[fart]
BEANO: You put a fart foot there.
You put a fart foot there.
[fart]
BEANO: Now you shake the bottom of your bean.
That is the Beano.
Everybody SCREAM!
[metal music]
[clip ends]
BARGIE: Well, I guess we should end the show.
C-53: Yeah, let’s… let’s just take it. Let's end the show.
BARGIE: Yeah, the show today was produced by me and C-53. Maybe, hyper–
C-53: A little-
BARGIE: Whatever's left over, the residual.
AJ: [warning] Don't make me. Don't make me!
BARGIE AND C-53: Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.
BARGIE: It was edited by me and C-53.
C-53: Original music… by… ahghhh Bermut Nundaloy.
BARGIE: Special appearance by– [shouting] Pleck! Pleck!
PLECK: Yeah, what is it, guys? What's that go--
C-53: Shut up.
BARGIE: Shut up. Your voice is like a decapitated mouse head inside of a blender.
[exit music]
RECORDED BARGIE: Bah dah buh bah dah bah, bah dah buh bah dah bah-
RECORDED BARGIE AND C-53: Cube2Cube!
BARGIE: Oh, we forgot our sponsor!
C-53: Oh, no. They’re going to kill us!
RECORDED BARGIE: Bah dah buh bah dah bah, bah dah buh bah dah bah-
RECORDED BARGIE AND C-53: Cube2Cube!
PLECK: [stilted] Hey there, Cube2Cube listeners. It's DJ Pleck Decksetter on the podcast microphone, along with my sidekick, AJ.
AJ: It's DJ AJ.
PLECK: Yeah, good. Good. That's pretty good. C-53 and Bargie are still asleep, so we decided to record a podcast.
AJ: Hey, Papa.
PLECK: [normal] What?
AJ: What are you doing with your voice?
PLECK: That's just my-- that's my podcast voice.
AJ: Yeah.
PLECK: [stilted] Welcome to the show.
AJ: Oh, OK. Do I do that? [exaggerated] Wehhhh, walhcome to the shohw!
PLECK: [normal] What is that? What is that?
AJ: That's my podcast voice.
PLECK: No, I don't think that—
AJ: Cuuu tah cuyyye!
PLECK: No, AJ– No, no, no The podcast voice is to make your voice sound cooler than it normally is, you know?
AJ: OK, right. Mwhhhhyeh, cyoo.
PLECK: No. AJ, your voice– I don't-- what is that?
AJ: I thought that was cool. Was that not cool?
PLECK: AJ, your voice is cool. You don't have to change it.
AJ: All right, Papa. OK.
PLECK: All right, AJ.
PLECK AND AJ: I guess it's time for a little housekeeping.
[vacuum noises play over music]
RECORDED BARGIE AND C-53: House, keeping, house house keeping!
AJ: Number one, hyper proton fuel is dangerous.
PLECK: Yeah, I think we learned a lot about hyper proton fuel in the last four days. They recorded dozens of episodes of the show.
AJ: Yeah. Yeah, some of them are, I mean, unintelligible. I didn't understand a word.
PLECK: There were a couple episodes that I think were just in binary. There was an episode where it was just Bargie crying.
AJ: I love that one. That's one of my faves.
PLECK: She's just like, [imitating Bargie] WHHhhhhy?
AJ: Yeah, OK, housekeeping number two, AJ is a dirty narc.
PLECK: Wow.
AJ: They told me I had to read that.
PLECK: You know, AJ, you probably did the right thing.
AJ: Yeah.
PLECK: I feel like we've gotten a few calls from Nermut that we have not picked up.
AJ: Yeah, and like, C-53 gets mean.
PLECK: Oh, yeah, for sure.
AJ: Let's get to some of the voicemails, Papa.
PLECK: Yeah, sure, let's listen to some listener voicemails.
[dial up sounds]
RECORDED BARGIE AND C-53: Voicemails.
VOICEMAIL LADY: We're sorry.
[voicemail plays]
LONG TIME LISTENER: Hey, long time listener, first time caller, um, who are you juckers? Where are C-53 and Bargie? You guys have done a couple episodes, and they suck. Who are you idiots?
PLECK: Oh, wow, this is rough.
[voicemail plays]
HPF GIRL: [distressed] Hi, I got into hyper proton fuel because Bargie and C told me to do it, but now I think it's a bad decision. What have I done with my life?
PLECK: Oh, boy.
[voicemail plays]
PROPOLITICAL GUY: Hey, there, I feel this show's getting a little bit too political… [hushed] and I LIKE it.
PLECK: Oh, hey, great.
AJ: Whoa.
PLECK: Cool.
AJ: Is that because I said “what's political?” last week?
PLECK: Yeah, I think so. I guess we should talk about pop culture a little bit now.
[upbeat music]
SINGER: P-p-p-p-p, p-p-p-p-p,p-p-p-p-pop! Pop culture!
PLECK: What was the last thing you watched that you liked?
AJ: Um…. Oh, I saw Dar, like, was-
PLECK: No, no, no, it's not supposed to be something that happened in real life. It's a story, maybe an album you listened to, music, movies.
AJ: Oh, I really love this– um, when I was younger, they would pry my eyelids open and tell me how great the Federated Alliance was.
PLECK: I don't know if--
AJ: [excited] No, it was awesome.
PLECK: No.
AJ: And it was like, [singing a marching band tune] Federated Alliance-
PLECK: Yeah.
AJ: We will always win!
PLECK: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
AJ: It was great, I loved it.
PLECK: I don't know if that counts as a movie.
AJ: No, it was awesome. It was all CLINTs, just like storming down enemies and, like, people showing prosperity. It was really moving.
PLECK: Oh, yeah?
[C-53 stumbles over]
C-53: [blearily] What- what are you two doing out here?
PLECK: Oh, hey, we're just--
AJ: Hey, what's up?
C-53: [angrily] Shut up!
PLECK: Hey, we're just--
C-53: Shut up.
PLECK: We're just recording an episode of the podcast.
C-53: What podcast?
AJ: Cube2Cube.
C-53: That's my podcast.
AJ: Well, yeah, you asked us.
PLECK: Before you went to sleep, you said, hey, you guys do it now.
C-53: [dismissively hungover] Yeah, just keep it down, okay?
PLECK: All right.
AJ: Okay.
C-53: Just turn the noise.
PLECK: Why was his chest casing off?
AJ: I don't know. Did he have stubble?
[horn honks]
RECORDED BARGIE: Time to play Juck or Dump!
PLECK: Okay. Oh, yeah. Wow. I didn't realize the different sections of the podcast just played automatically.
AJ: Yeah, I know. It's very automated.
PLECK: All right. Juck or Dump. You go first, AJ. Juck or Dump, Cormy Mehan.
AJ: Oh, I would dump because I have no genitals.
PLECK: Oh, okay. Yeah, I'm not sure if that's really in the spirit of the– Okay, that's fine. Let's do another one.
AJ: Well, I mean, Papa, you said Juck or Dump. I can only— I can't juck.
PLECK: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
AJ: [upset] I can't juck, Papa. I don't know what you want.
PLECK: Okay, all right.
AJ: [shouting] Dump. It's going to be dump for me for all of them!
PLECK: You know what? Never mind, AJ. I just-- OK, now you do one.
AJ: OK. Papa, I've definitely done my research. So yeah, pop culture, Juck or Dump, uh… the Zalcatron 5000.
PLECK: That's Bargie's refrigerator.
AJ: [daring] Yeah!
PLECK: Yeah, I'm going to--
AJ: What would you do?
PLECK: I got to--
AJ: Would you juck it or dump it, Papa? Pop culture.
PLECK: I'm not going to juck a refrigerator, probably.
ZALCATRON 5000: H O W D A R E Y O U
PLECK: [embarrassed] Oh, no. Oh, I'm sorry. I mean, it's nothing personal, Zalcatron.
ZALCATRON 5000: O H R E A L L Y
PLECK: Yeah, no, it's just I don't even know what--
ZALCATRON 5000: U N B E L I E V A B L E.
PLECK: I don't even know what it would look like or how I would do it.
ZALCATRON 5000: N E I T H E R D O I B U T I ‘ M W I L L I N G T O T R Y
PLECK: That's very progressive of you, Zalcatron.
ZALCATRON 5000: N O T A N Y M O R E
PLECK: Okay.
AJ: Wow, this is great. Pop culture.
PLECK: I don't think that's what pop culture is.
AJ: No, all this is pop culture, I'm pretty sure.
PLECK: I don't think so. Oh, I guess it's time now for a word from our sponsors, just to let you know, because we did not run an ad last week for Kool Pak brand Cold Sacs. We've actually lost that sponsorship, but fortunately we've picked up another one. So AJ, would you like to read this copy here?
AJ: I sure would, Papa. [stumbling] C– Cu- Culs De–
PLECK: It's Culs De Sac.
AJ: Cold-- I had it, Papa.
PLECK: Brand Cold Pac.
AJ: Papa, I had it.
PLECK: OK.
AJ: Cold to sacks, brahnd.
PLECK: Actually, let me just read this, AJ.
AJ: I'm sorry.
PLECK: We'll read it together. You can read it over my shoulder, and I'll read it out loud. Cul De Sac brand--
AJ: Cold Pac. Yeah, that was the last one.
PLECK: OK. Give you cool relief wherever you need them, whenever you need them. “Make it personal to you.” Oh, I think I'm supposed to talk about how I use them.
AJ: All right.
PLECK: OK, make it personal. Let's see.
AJ: Oh, you remember that time when you were doing your wood saber, and you hit yourself in the nuts, and you had to– and then you had to have a cold.
PLECK: Yes, I do remember that.
AJ: And you were just going, [imitating Pleck] oh, my nuts, my nuts. And I was like, Papa, you got to get a cold pac on it. You were like, oh, it hurts! And then when we put it on, you were like, it hurts even more. And Dar was laughing, like, so hard.
PLECK: Yes, I remember, AJ. We're going to edit this, right? Is there an editor for this? They'll cut this out.
BARGIE: [groaning] Ughhhh, I'm awake.
PLECK: Oh, hey, Bargie. Welcome back.
BARGIE: Oh, it's happening. What day is it? Are we in-- are we– is--
AJ: Bargie, we're doing the podcast. We're doing Cube2Cube right now.
BARGIE: Spaceship Spielship, I think we need a divorce.
PLECK: [concerned] Oh, that happened… years ago.
BARGIE: What?
AJ: Welcome to Cube2Cube.
BARGIE: I'm-- oh, yeah, that's my--
AJ: Yeah.
BARGIE: [coughs]
PLECK: Oh, whoa, wow.
BARGIE: [hacking]
AJ: Whoa, geez.
PLECK: Bargie, you gotta vent that smoke.
BARGIE: [blearily] All right, that's my podcast. I'm ready. I'm-- call me and I'm ready. What part are we in?
PLECK: I'm not really sure what comes next.
BARGIE: [singing off key] Bargie's singing a song about all the movies she saw.
PLECK: She snapped right in.
BARGIE: Movies she saw. All of the movies she saw.
PLECK: Bargie, I respect your--
AJ: Wow, what a professional.
PLECK: --can-do attitu-- yeah, you're a pro.
BARGIE: All right, guys, I think you've done enough. I think C-53 and I have leveled out. We don't need hyper proton fuel for fuel, fuel, fuel, show.
C-53: Lotta smoke in this room.
BARGIE: Cube2Cube could just be two sentients having an honest conversation, not about pop culture, but about themselves.
C-53: OK.
AJ: Yeah, are we still--
BARGIE: No, get out of here.
C-53: Yeah, get out of here.
AJ: OK.
C-53: [angrily] Get lost.
PLECK: OK!
C-53: Geez. Oh, what did I do to my back?
BARGIE: Asking hard-hitting questions. Taking the frame, as it were, and opening it up to reveal the cube inside.
C-53: Juck, what happened to the front of my frame? Barge, I dunno if I’m up to this right now.
BARGIE: You're exactly where you need to be. I'm exactly where I need to be.
C-53: I just gotta get that chest piece.
BARGIE: All right, [outro music] Cube2Cube was produced by Bargie, C-53 and the lack of hyper proton fuel. It was edited by Bargie, C-53 and Seth Lind.
AJ: [whispering] Papa, I don't think we're going to be credited in this episode.
PLECK: Yeah, we… we did most of this one.
RECORDED BARGIE: Bah dah buh bah dah bah, bah dah buh bah dah bah-
RECORDED BARGIE AND C-53: Cube2Cube! [music sting]
[promo]
AIMEE: Hello, this is Aimee Mann.
TED: And I’m Ted Leo.
AIMEE: And we have a podcast called the Art of Process.
TED: We’ve been lucky enough over the past year to talk to some of our friends and acquaintances from across the creative spectrum to find out how they actually work.
GUEST A: So I have to make material that makes sense and makes people laugh. I also have to think about what I’m saying to people…
GUEST B: If I kick your ass, I’ll make you famous…
GUEST C: The fight to get LGBTQ representation in the show…
AIMEE: We don’t know as many musicians as you would expect.
GUEST D: I really just became a political speechwriter by accident…
GUEST E: Realizing that I have accidentally pulled my pants down…
TED: Listen and subscribe at MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts.
GUEST F: It’s like if the guinea pig was complicit in helping the scientist.
APRIL: Hello there, ghouls and gals, it is I. April Wolfe! I’m here to take you through the twisty, scary, heart pounding world of genre cinema on the exhilarating program known as… Switchblade Sisters! The concept is simple: I invite a female filmmaker on each week and we discuss their favorite genre film. Listen in closely to hear pasts guests like The Babadook director Jennifer Kent, Winter’s Bone director Debra Granik, and so many others every Thursday on MaximumFun.org. Tune in… if you dare! MWAHAHAHA! It’s actually a very thought provoking show that deeply explores the craft and philosophy behind the filmmaking process while also examining film through the lens of the female gaze. So, like, you should listen. Switchblade Sisters…
MAXIMUM FUN: MaximumFun.org. Comedy and culture. Artist-owned. Audience-supported.
JEREMY: Alright, time to move on to the meat of Cube2Cube and that's talking about pop culture.
MOUJAN: Pop culture, alright, what is it about pop culture you want to talk about?
MOUJAN AND JEREMY: [singing] Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. Pop culture. Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. Pop culture.
SHANE O’CONNELL: [deep voice] It's the meat.
JEREMY: [deep voice] It's the meat.
MOUJAN: Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop culture.
[cast laughs]